How To Start Turning Your Resolutions Into Reality

What Are You Going To Achieve Today?

What Are You Going To Achieve Today?

As January is nearly over I thought I would ask this question:

How are your New Year Resolutions holding up?

New Year New Start?

With 11 clear months ahead it is easy to promise to live healthier; improve skills; follow different career options; manage money better.

Just making that promise to yourself is very easy.

The reality is (once you have written your goal down) there is a lot of hard work to do something, every day, to move closer to you what you want to achieve.

Where Do You Start?

I think knowing ‘why’ you want to improve your life is essential. Clarity about your why means you can picture what part of your life to pay attention to first.

For example, do you want to feel confident that you are managing your money so your situation will be more secure in future? Then taking action now will start to shape your reality in years to come.

Why Self-Awareness Really Matters

I deliberately opened this post with that Steve Jobs quote. His wording is perfect. The evidence from a workshop I ran a couple of days ago is also spot on.

We each know best what we want from our lives. Our inner voice says it best. Listen to it. Then get your next steps to line up with your priorities.

So, here’s another question: which part of your life will you start improving today?

Want To Get Clarity About Your Priorities?

If you want to get some free support to figure your priorities out follow the link below. Click the blue download button and the ABC tool will be sent to the email address you have selected.

https://experienceyourlife.coachesconsole.com/

Don’t forget to feedback here to let me know how you get on, or to ask questions about tackling your 2016 goals.

 

How To Take One Small Step Towards A Happier New Year

Astronaut Spacewalk Extra Vehicular Activity

What Giant Leap Will You Make By Acting On Your Goal? Image From Pexels.Com

For a while, when I was little, I wanted to be an astronaut.

With hindsight that idea said a lot about escapism (home life wasn’t always ideal to be honest). From what I can remember though I thought being a spaceman would be a pretty cool job. I mean how difficult could it be to live in a spaceship, with nothing holding you down, doing science stuff indoors and outside that helped people?

Turns out the science stuff and helping people isn’t that easy, as people have baggage and getting a good result has an impact on a lot of other people.

Teamwork

I definitely didn’t realise how much people rely on each other to make plans turn into reality. a long list of other people made it possible for the astronaut to do their thing.

For instance I didn’t know how crowded an astronaut’s life is: it took more than Tim Peake and the other 2 people in the Soyuz capsule to get the latest crew onto the International Space Station.

When the computers plotting the capsule’s approach to the ISS got the final stage wrong it was US astronaut Tim Kopra who passed manual docking control to Russian Commander Yuri Malenchenko, while ground controllers at Russia’s Mission Control Centre monitored developments and the ISS crew held their breath.

It took 3 attempts. Working together the team of astronauts got the job done (collaboration helps during spacewalks too). No lone heroics, just great teamwork. Overcoming difficulties usually depends on one person being open enough to say ‘I can’t do this on my own’ and to ask another person for help.

Mission Control We Have A Problem

So here is the thing, people can hold on to their difficulty for quite a while before looking for someone with whom to connect (ask any coach about building trusting relationships which offer others support ). Imagine holding on to a burden for months, years, or decades even. What kind of toll would that take?

Now imagine being able to flow freely, without that burdensome weight getting in the way. How much more could you accomplish for others? How much easier would your own life be? 

The skilful coach understands others’ obvious and subtle needs (they might say they need clarity about their next step during an overwhelming period at work to start with. They might also be open to receiving support at a deeper level, so they can reduce the stress in their personal relationship)

Are you ready to get the support you deserve?

One Small Step

In a month, as part of my mission for the new year, I will support some people to take a small step toward a freer flowing 2016. My workshop in London on 23 January will help those ready to take one small step to turn their career, life, or wellbeing resolutions into reality*.

Use the Comment section to share your big goal for the new year (or get in touch via Twitter @RogerD_Said ). Also keep an eye out for updates, as I will share a few of the strategies I am going to use, ahead of time.

Meanwhile, wherever on Earth (or above it) you happen to spend the day have a very Happy Christmas.   

One Giant Leap

*Hit the link below if you would like to know more about the 23 January event in London. Book a seat and join others helping to turn their goals into reality

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/turn-your-resolution-into-reality-now-tickets-20034420491

4 Self Care Strategies Which Also Help Others Achieve Their #Goals

You Need To Feel Good To Use These Resources Well

You Need To Feel Good To Use These Resources Well

If you are a coach, a team leader, or a motivator you are used to helping others tackle their goals. With the start of 2016 close by where are you on the scale which starts in Excitement and ends in Overwhelming Anxiety?

We can’t all be upbeat 24/7. Sometimes our inner critical voice interrupts our excitement. We are developing into a new area and then BAM! up comes a story from the past where things didn’t go as planned.

Your Stories Have Value

I have supported enough people engaged in professional development as coaches etc to have heard a lot of stories about 2015’s challenges. Building up knowledge, likability and trust is hard work.

To be fair you also hear a lot of optimism about the new opportunities coming in 2016 and how learning lessons from the past can help shape the future.

Self Care Comes First

From what I have heard (and experienced) it makes sense to have a healthy balance between the positive energy you share with others and the wisdom you tap into from your own stories.

Speaking at London’s Business Show recently Britain’s number 1 motivational speaker Brad Burton made a brilliant point about the balance between useful stories and achieving results for others.

Reflecting on his own efforts to get the balance right over the years he said

Your story starts now. Pay attention to caring for yourself, your family and your business.

Your business goal might be achieving good results in your 9 to 5; enjoying success in your part time startup gig; or organising a knockout Christmas social for 100 people. Either way having a healthy balance helps produce good results for others and a feeling of satisfaction for you.

Inspired by Brad here are 4 self care strategies to reduce overwhelm, which you can start using today.

  1. Pay attention to the quality of your contributions – family, colleagues and customers appreciate your efforts. If you over do it trying to be active all the time with everyone in your life the quality of what you achieve goes down.  
  2. Respect others’ boundaries and your own – if you have too much on your plate you can’t offer your best self to others. It is ok to set time when you won’t be available because those limits mean you can focus your time on your priorities.
  3. Care about your results within reason – while you recognise that some outcomes don’t call for 100% of your effort (because 80% will still produce good results).
  4. Decide how often you are going to review your needs – setting time to check in with yourself means you remain mindful of your own maintenance / development priorities. That helps you keep a fresh focus when you are supporting others’ development.

Want To Learn More?

Thanks for reading this far. If you have ideas about the value of self care please leave your comments below. Feel free to share the post if you have found it helpful.

If you are ready ready to start 2016 by making positive changes to your professional work which benefits others take a moment and follow this link https://experienceyourlife.coachesconsole.com/

There you will find a FREE tool you can download by clicking the blue button (in exchange for your contact details) which will help you focus your attention on your biggest priority issue. You will start making improvements from there, if you keep taking action.

If you would like to learn more about the support I offer to coaches, thought leaders, inspiring speakers and others please schedule a discovery conversation with me using the calendar function on the right of the page (where it says Click Here).

How To Take A Step Forward On #InternationalMensDay

I had a really interesting conversation at a networking event earlier this week.

A woman guest and I were talking about the all the different ways it is possible to be of service and to ask for support so you can improve. Here’s a big generalisation that I brought to our discussion:

Women and men have different ideas about seeking support while they tackle their working day 

Plenty Of Men Aren’t Alpha Males

I went to a Boy’s school, so I grew up knowing a bit about bullying and that some guys held more of the cards than I did (and weren’t shy about pointing that out).

For every Alpha male out there you will find plenty of ordinary guys who are trying to do the best they can with what they have got.

Where many women will reach out and work effectively together to do more than ‘get by’, many men will try to go it alone, toughing it out in isolation, without showing any vulnerability.

Perhaps (at the extreme end of the scale) that is part of the reason why three times as many men take their own lives, as compared to women.

Men Can Take Action

Keeping calm and carrying on only highlights the distance some men maintain between their inner world and the effective support networks they can tap into. 

If there is truth in the men-go-it-alone generalisation then men will keep losing out. They would be better off making time to be thoughtful, working out how they need to grow and taking action to improve their situation. The alternative is spending more time working and less time:

  • paying attention to their inner growth goals
  • deciding where their boundaries lie, so they don’t end up shortchanging their family, friends and community
  • caring about the impact they have on the people they serve, including their clients, their colleagues and the wider community

Making A Difference

I hope that today (International Men’s Day) someone reading this post will decide to set themselves a goal and take an action which helps to improve their quality of life and benefit their community, team and family too.

Share this post with someone for whom it will make a difference today or tomorrow (and comment below if it resonates with you).

Finally, if you want FREE Downloadable information to start the improvement wheels turning for yourself, or a man in your life, please visit
https://experienceyourlife.coachesconsole.com/   

How To Start Achieving More By Reducing Your Stress Now

2 brown bears fighting

Stress Can Affect Anyone – Picture From Clarita From Morguefile.com

According to the dictionary Stress is defined as mental emotional strain or tension linked to adverse circumstances. It has roots in different situations (personal struggles, work changes, relationship breakdown, money worries…) and it can feel overwhelming.

Yesterday, 4 November, was National Stress Awareness Day.

Like many people I’ve experienced stress myself, that experience has been useful when coaching people to overcome the impossible stress factors affecting their life.  Whatever feels overwhelming today won’t feel that way in a month, or a year.

It always seems impossible. Until it is done.
Nelson Mandela

So here are 3 reasons to take action to combat stress (and 1 step to take today to help move you forward).

First – Unresolved Stress Will Eventually Make You Ill

People aren’t designed to perform under stress in the long term. The rush of adrenaline you get from a stressful situation is meant to give you what you need to get out of the situation (if you face sudden danger – like coming across a bear or two – the surge will give you strength to leap out of harm’s way).

Remaining in fight or flight mode for too long floods your body with stress-related chemicals, meaning you are stuck in alert mode.

You won’t get enough sleep if you can’t lower your stress levels. Your diet will be all over the place, if you are snacking rather than eating nourishing meals and exercising away some of the tension around your shoulders.

You could even end up adding to pressures which contribute to depression.

Second -Stress Has An Impact On Your Relationships With Colleagues

If you struggle on with your burden you will stop being a team player, your Major Stressor will be at the front of your mind all day.

Your skills in making effective plans and paying attention to issues like effective leadership or management will suffer. 

You will be tough to live with as well.

Third – Stress Affects Your Goal Of Satisfying Your Customers

Preoccupied and distracted? You will find it harder to meet deadlines and you might compromise quality expectations to simply get the job done.

Worse than that your anxiety levels will rise, leaving you feeling like there is no time to research better alternatives to get the job done.

Step 1 – Recognise  Your Stressor And Take Action To Move On

Don’t try to tough the situation out (especially if you are a guy and you think ignoring the problem will be enough to get you through. It won’t)

Pay attention to figuring out what has caused this feeling of overwhelm. What has changed to make your day unmanageable?

Is the change permanent? What would it take to set up boundaries around the issue and call on support to make the situation bearable?

If you don’t want to take action because of the impact on your colleagues and your customers do it for the sake of your own health.

A Free Resource To Help You Move On From Stress

If you want some help to get started tackling your issue I have created a free downloadable resource available via this link – just fill in your name and email address then press the blue button to download the content. Start working through the material and producing better results.

https://experienceyourlife.coachesconsole.com/

Are You OK Mate? 3 Ways In Which Receiving Support Lifts Your Mood

Road Signs Showing Men Working

Men At Work From Morguefile.com

Here is a sobering statistic.

This year 75% of people in the UK taking their own life will be men.

That is 3 men for every 1 woman.

Strong And Silent

Generally men in mid-life say ‘Yes’ if you ask ‘Are you OK?’

It is best to be strong and silent. Man up. Keep working. Or get wasted. Or withdraw.

Tears are best kept for football. That’s a crying shame.

Those 40 somethings are the ones at greater risk.

Potential To Grow

I am lucky enough to have supported some men working through their personal development goals (and received support myself).

It seems obvious that men’s actual inner state can be weighing them down while outwardly there are no signs of distress.

Behind the facade there can be turmoil. Turmoil does not lead directly to self harm. It doesn’t help though.

Life is better with fewer obstacles to growth. It is hard to believe that you can grow if you don’t feel like you can exercise leadership in your own life.

What Could Men Learn From Women?

As a rule women will look for and find support. Women talk about their stuff, where guys will keep their hurt to themselves.

Maybe part of masculinity is being open to help?

Benefits Of Being Listened To

Today seems like a good day to start talking about the benefits of receiving help if you are carrying a heavy burden.

In my experience being listened to deeply can be an intense experience. It changes things. It is a big victory for some guys to take action on their goals.

Here Are 3 Ways Guys Initially Benefit From Support

They experience

  • caring help as they set priorities
  • more confidence as they tackle priorities and move past long standing blockages
  • fewer burdens and more happiness

After their confidence increases it becomes easier to keep moving forward. Doors keep opening once they practice their action-based skills.

Share This Information

Thanks for reading this post. Comment below if these ideas have struck a chord with you. Use Twitter @RogerD_Said if you perfer.

If you are sharing the post with your followers on Twitter you can use the hashtag #RUOK to be included in the wider conversation.

Finally, follow this link for more information on 10 September: World Suicide Prevention Day

 

http://www.samaritans.org/wspd

How Does Your Community Benefit When You Act Like A #GoodWolf ?

How Does Your Good Wolf Inspire Others?

How Does Your Good Wolf Inspire Others? – picture credit to Brigwer from Morguefile.com

How often do you ‘click’ with someone and find a way to support them in their goals?

I am lucky to be connected to several professional development networks. That means I have the chance to support others quite often. It feels good to pay it forward.

You have to be in the right frame of mind yourself to help someone else out. It is easier in some ways to be focused on your own agenda. Easier isn’t always best though.

Here’s a story about helping someone focus, inspired by Cherokee Nation culture.

 

The One You Feed

A grandfather and grandson are seated in Nature, deep in conversation.

The young man is troubled.

He tells his grandfather about the feelings of anger, envy and self-pity he has.

His grandfather tells him about the two wolves we all have within us.

The wolves are always circling each other, battling for supremacy.

One wolf is mournful, holding on to bad feelings from the past.

The other wolf is bright, joyful, loving and empathic.

Puzzled, the young man asks.

 

“If they are always there within us, which wolf wins the battle?

 

The grandfather paused.

His reply?

 

“It depends on the one you feed.

 

Contributing To Your Community

I know from my own experience that feeding the wrong wolf makes life miserable.

Spending too much time looking at set-backs leaves you stuck. It makes you self-centred. It weighs you down. It means you aren’t aware of others’ needs and don’t meet them.

I first experienced coaching (as a client) in the early 2000s. I had ended up overwhelmed by a project I was involved with. The experience of being coached made the process of returning to normal (being part of a team, producing great results) much easier.

 

What did I learn from the experience?

Being connected to your community is good. Being of service to that community is better. Taking positive action to help the community move forward is best.

 

How Can You Help The Communities To Which You Belong?

Tapping into your good wolf mind-set means you are better placed to help others. Your optimism inspires others to work optimistically because you understand others’ lives.

That kind of Empathy comes easily to good wolves. You can find out more about Empathy by clicking the link below.

http://bit.ly/BBC_Can_Empathy_Be_Taught_Roman_Krznaric

 

Want To Keep This Conversation Going?

Thank you for dropping by, reading this post, following, sharing and taking action that helps you experience a more fulfilling life.

I’d love to know how you change your thoughts when they get stuck in the negative zone. What’s your secret? How do you motivate your team / community to act positively and produce better results?

Leave your comments below. Your feedback is bound to be valuable to others in the community.

Don’t forget to share this post with the wolves you know.