Tag: Work–life balance

#MentalHealthAwarenessWeek2021

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Lockdown: how has it felt to you?

Did staring at the same four walls each day get you down?

If the answer is ‘sometimes’. join the club.

I’ve found staying indoors to avoid infection hard sometimes.

Safety has meant less

  • fresh air
  • sunshine
  • social contact

There are health benefits resulting from connecting with nature. That can mean raising a plant indoors or taking a walk outdoors. Follow the link if you want to know more:

Mental Health Awareness Week 2021

So, from this week on I am going to spend a bit more time taking care of my health, with help from Nature itself.

How about you?    

Picture Credit Pok Rie at Pexels.com

World Mental Health Day Means You Can #Asktwice

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Happiness And Mental Health Go Together – Picture Credit Rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

October 10 is World Mental Health Day.

The goal for #WMHD is raising awareness that 1 in 4 of us will personally experience mental health challenges during our life.

Yes, that is even true for us guys. Although getting us talking about our feelings can be hard work (that’s why it is worth asking us twice ‘how are you’ just to check what is really going on).

Having poor mental health sucks, believe me: It might be back in the early 2000s but I remember that feeling alone; being unable to get out of bed; seeing the world in black and white made no sense at all.

It is also time to remember we can overcome the rubbish feelings caused by stress, anxiety and depression with the help of family, friends and maybe professionals.

How do we start to change our situation?

By talking about our feelings with our family, colleagues and mates today, not just on 10 October.

And keeping the conversation going on the next day.

And the next.

What Are Your Next Steps?

This isn’t an easy conversation to have. If this post rings bells here are some questions you can you ask yourself to get started. 

  • Who can we talk to about what is really going on inside?
  • What isn’t working in our life?
  • What is the smallest step that might help us feel just a bit better?
  • Do we need professional help?

Thanks for reading this post. Remember to Like, Comment and Share so others can learn how to help themselves too.

Here Are 3 Life Skills You Gain As A #Carer

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Words Related To Work

Skills Matter – Wherever They Come From (Image From Alvimann From Morguefile.com)

Dementia Awareness Week just ended* and it has put the spotlight on the role played by thousands of part and full time carers out there.

In particular I’ve talked to several people involved with caring for Dementia patients. Those conversations reminded me of the many valuable skills you get from caring for others. Skills which offer a lot to employers seeking fresh talent..

Professional Skills Gained Through Volunteering

Ever focused exclusively on the goal of helping others and lost track of your own priorities? Not to worry, there is an answer to the question:

OK I have done a lot of caring – how do I run those talents into worthwhile job skills?

The skills you use to look after others look good on a resume or CV, especially if you can relate them to the types of employment that interest you.

The trick is to explain the situation in which the skill was used, what task you were responsible for and the action you carried out. What results did you achieve illustrating the skills you want to highlight?

There is a long list of skills from which you can choose, including the following:

Action Planning

You need to be aware** of what you want to achieve before you can become a good planner. Once you are focused on your main task you will be ready to help to bring about the right results, at the right time.

However you go about your planning (maybe you use a wall chart, a smart phone app, or a diary) you still know what results you expect to create at each stage.

You also know which legal, medical or financial rules you have to follow at each stage to get what you want.

What does a successful final outcome look like?

Managing Collaborations

It is exhausting to try to achieve results on your own.

How do you communicate with others so you build new relationships and bring allies into your world?

What do you offer to bring their skills on board?

Problem Solving

Even the best plans can get derailed by unforeseen problems.

Obviously you will have tried to manage the basic risks involved in your project. What does your Plan B look like, should things go wrong?

How will Plan B bring the overall project back into line?

How do you record what you have achieved to ensure you learn how to get better results next time?

Your Next Steps

Thanks for reading about 3 of the key skills which caring can add to your CV. I would love to hear from you. What skills have you gained through volunteering? How have you used those skills in your professional life?

Use the Comment section to share your story, or Tweet me @RogerD_Said. If this post was useful please share it with a friend who would benefit from reading it.

Finally…

*Here is a useful link about Dementia – https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/

** Here is a 30 minute video I recorded recently, worth a look if you would like to learn more about self- awareness. http://bit.ly/Self-Awareness-Superstar-Part-1-Of-3

Here Are 3 Relationship Building Skills You Need To Practice

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Business Cards Can Help Build Relationships

How Hard Do You Listen Before You Try To Be Of Service ?

Have you ever had someone give you a business card before they say anything to you?

There must be some psychological trigger at work. One where the card giver looks at you and thinks ‘That person has a professional appearance. I must introduce them to what I have to offer’

The card giver doesn’t know who you are – or what you might need – you are another person to whom they gave a business card at that event.

Without getting to know you they want you to know them and why their online marketing process (or whatever) represents a great opportunity for you.

Annoying isn’t it?

What Are The 3 Relationship Building Skills You Need?

I think a better approach to building a relationship involves listening. Then making time to establish rapport. From that mutual place of trust you can go forward. You might get to a point where the other person is deeply engaged with what you are saying.

Here are 3 skills at the heart of engaged relationships. Having these 3 elements in place makes it easier to say what you mean concerning your project / area of work / bright idea:

Empathy – How much time have you spent building your knowledge of the needs of the particular niche you want to service?

  • Who is in that niche?
  • What stresses are they under?
  • How does your ‘thing’ reduce those pressures?

Authenticity – Have you been a member of the niche you are focusing on?

  • What true ‘Before and After’ story can you tell to connect you to it?
  • How passionate are you about offering service to your niche?
  • What do you want people to feel when they first encounter your work?

Self-Awareness – How much effort do you want to make in building and maintaining these relationships?

  • What signals tell you that you are holding the other person’s attention?
  • How do you vary what you are doing to deepen your connection?
  • How do you feel if the other person says they are not interested?

There’s A Google Hangout You Might Want To Join

I am hosting a Google Hangout on 12 May looking into these issues – I hope you will want to join in. Follow the link if so.

https://plus.google.com/events/c67917issejfjbmbupmuv125nho

What Is Your Next Step?

Thanks for reading to the end. What step will you take today to build more productive relationships? Feel free to comment below – or Tweet @RogerD_Said – share this post with the people you know who would benefit from reading it.

How To Take One Small Step Towards A Happier New Year

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Astronaut Spacewalk Extra Vehicular Activity

What Giant Leap Will You Make By Acting On Your Goal? Image From Pexels.Com

For a while, when I was little, I wanted to be an astronaut.

With hindsight that idea said a lot about escapism (home life wasn’t always ideal to be honest). From what I can remember though I thought being a spaceman would be a pretty cool job. I mean how difficult could it be to live in a spaceship, with nothing holding you down, doing science stuff indoors and outside that helped people?

Turns out the science stuff and helping people isn’t that easy, as people have baggage and getting a good result has an impact on a lot of other people.

Teamwork

I definitely didn’t realise how much people rely on each other to make plans turn into reality. a long list of other people made it possible for the astronaut to do their thing.

For instance I didn’t know how crowded an astronaut’s life is: it took more than Tim Peake and the other 2 people in the Soyuz capsule to get the latest crew onto the International Space Station.

When the computers plotting the capsule’s approach to the ISS got the final stage wrong it was US astronaut Tim Kopra who passed manual docking control to Russian Commander Yuri Malenchenko, while ground controllers at Russia’s Mission Control Centre monitored developments and the ISS crew held their breath.

It took 3 attempts. Working together the team of astronauts got the job done (collaboration helps during spacewalks too). No lone heroics, just great teamwork. Overcoming difficulties usually depends on one person being open enough to say ‘I can’t do this on my own’ and to ask another person for help.

Mission Control We Have A Problem

So here is the thing, people can hold on to their difficulty for quite a while before looking for someone with whom to connect (ask any coach about building trusting relationships which offer others support ). Imagine holding on to a burden for months, years, or decades even. What kind of toll would that take?

Now imagine being able to flow freely, without that burdensome weight getting in the way. How much more could you accomplish for others? How much easier would your own life be? 

The skilful coach understands others’ obvious and subtle needs (they might say they need clarity about their next step during an overwhelming period at work to start with. They might also be open to receiving support at a deeper level, so they can reduce the stress in their personal relationship)

Are you ready to get the support you deserve?

One Small Step

In a month, as part of my mission for the new year, I will support some people to take a small step toward a freer flowing 2016. My workshop in London on 23 January will help those ready to take one small step to turn their career, life, or wellbeing resolutions into reality*.

Use the Comment section to share your big goal for the new year (or get in touch via Twitter @RogerD_Said ). Also keep an eye out for updates, as I will share a few of the strategies I am going to use, ahead of time.

Meanwhile, wherever on Earth (or above it) you happen to spend the day have a very Happy Christmas.   

One Giant Leap

*Hit the link below if you would like to know more about the 23 January event in London. Book a seat and join others helping to turn their goals into reality

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/turn-your-resolution-into-reality-now-tickets-20034420491

4 Self Care Strategies Which Also Help Others Achieve Their #Goals

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You Need To Feel Good To Use These Resources Well

You Need To Feel Good To Use These Resources Well

If you are a coach, a team leader, or a motivator you are used to helping others tackle their goals. With the start of 2016 close by where are you on the scale which starts in Excitement and ends in Overwhelming Anxiety?

We can’t all be upbeat 24/7. Sometimes our inner critical voice interrupts our excitement. We are developing into a new area and then BAM! up comes a story from the past where things didn’t go as planned.

Your Stories Have Value

I have supported enough people engaged in professional development as coaches etc to have heard a lot of stories about 2015’s challenges. Building up knowledge, likability and trust is hard work.

To be fair you also hear a lot of optimism about the new opportunities coming in 2016 and how learning lessons from the past can help shape the future.

Self Care Comes First

From what I have heard (and experienced) it makes sense to have a healthy balance between the positive energy you share with others and the wisdom you tap into from your own stories.

Speaking at London’s Business Show recently Britain’s number 1 motivational speaker Brad Burton made a brilliant point about the balance between useful stories and achieving results for others.

Reflecting on his own efforts to get the balance right over the years he said

Your story starts now. Pay attention to caring for yourself, your family and your business.

Your business goal might be achieving good results in your 9 to 5; enjoying success in your part time startup gig; or organising a knockout Christmas social for 100 people. Either way having a healthy balance helps produce good results for others and a feeling of satisfaction for you.

Inspired by Brad here are 4 self care strategies to reduce overwhelm, which you can start using today.

  1. Pay attention to the quality of your contributions – family, colleagues and customers appreciate your efforts. If you over do it trying to be active all the time with everyone in your life the quality of what you achieve goes down.  
  2. Respect others’ boundaries and your own – if you have too much on your plate you can’t offer your best self to others. It is ok to set time when you won’t be available because those limits mean you can focus your time on your priorities.
  3. Care about your results within reason – while you recognise that some outcomes don’t call for 100% of your effort (because 80% will still produce good results).
  4. Decide how often you are going to review your needs – setting time to check in with yourself means you remain mindful of your own maintenance / development priorities. That helps you keep a fresh focus when you are supporting others’ development.

Want To Learn More?

Thanks for reading this far. If you have ideas about the value of self care please leave your comments below. Feel free to share the post if you have found it helpful.

If you are ready ready to start 2016 by making positive changes to your professional work which benefits others take a moment and follow this link https://experienceyourlife.coachesconsole.com/

There you will find a FREE tool you can download by clicking the blue button (in exchange for your contact details) which will help you focus your attention on your biggest priority issue. You will start making improvements from there, if you keep taking action.

If you would like to learn more about the support I offer to coaches, thought leaders, inspiring speakers and others please schedule a discovery conversation with me using the calendar function on the right of the page (where it says Click Here).

How To Take A Step Forward On #InternationalMensDay

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I had a really interesting conversation at a networking event earlier this week.

A woman guest and I were talking about the all the different ways it is possible to be of service and to ask for support so you can improve. Here’s a big generalisation that I brought to our discussion:

Women and men have different ideas about seeking support while they tackle their working day 

Plenty Of Men Aren’t Alpha Males

I went to a Boy’s school, so I grew up knowing a bit about bullying and that some guys held more of the cards than I did (and weren’t shy about pointing that out).

For every Alpha male out there you will find plenty of ordinary guys who are trying to do the best they can with what they have got.

Where many women will reach out and work effectively together to do more than ‘get by’, many men will try to go it alone, toughing it out in isolation, without showing any vulnerability.

Perhaps (at the extreme end of the scale) that is part of the reason why three times as many men take their own lives, as compared to women.

Men Can Take Action

Keeping calm and carrying on only highlights the distance some men maintain between their inner world and the effective support networks they can tap into. 

If there is truth in the men-go-it-alone generalisation then men will keep losing out. They would be better off making time to be thoughtful, working out how they need to grow and taking action to improve their situation. The alternative is spending more time working and less time:

  • paying attention to their inner growth goals
  • deciding where their boundaries lie, so they don’t end up shortchanging their family, friends and community
  • caring about the impact they have on the people they serve, including their clients, their colleagues and the wider community

Making A Difference

I hope that today (International Men’s Day) someone reading this post will decide to set themselves a goal and take an action which helps to improve their quality of life and benefit their community, team and family too.

Share this post with someone for whom it will make a difference today or tomorrow (and comment below if it resonates with you).

Finally, if you want FREE Downloadable information to start the improvement wheels turning for yourself, or a man in your life, please visit
https://experienceyourlife.coachesconsole.com/   

How To Start Achieving More By Reducing Your Stress Now

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2 brown bears fighting

Stress Can Affect Anyone – Picture From Clarita From Morguefile.com

According to the dictionary Stress is defined as mental emotional strain or tension linked to adverse circumstances. It has roots in different situations (personal struggles, work changes, relationship breakdown, money worries…) and it can feel overwhelming.

Yesterday, 4 November, was National Stress Awareness Day.

Like many people I’ve experienced stress myself, that experience has been useful when coaching people to overcome the impossible stress factors affecting their life.  Whatever feels overwhelming today won’t feel that way in a month, or a year.

It always seems impossible. Until it is done.
Nelson Mandela

So here are 3 reasons to take action to combat stress (and 1 step to take today to help move you forward).

First – Unresolved Stress Will Eventually Make You Ill

People aren’t designed to perform under stress in the long term. The rush of adrenaline you get from a stressful situation is meant to give you what you need to get out of the situation (if you face sudden danger – like coming across a bear or two – the surge will give you strength to leap out of harm’s way).

Remaining in fight or flight mode for too long floods your body with stress-related chemicals, meaning you are stuck in alert mode.

You won’t get enough sleep if you can’t lower your stress levels. Your diet will be all over the place, if you are snacking rather than eating nourishing meals and exercising away some of the tension around your shoulders.

You could even end up adding to pressures which contribute to depression.

Second -Stress Has An Impact On Your Relationships With Colleagues

If you struggle on with your burden you will stop being a team player, your Major Stressor will be at the front of your mind all day.

Your skills in making effective plans and paying attention to issues like effective leadership or management will suffer. 

You will be tough to live with as well.

Third – Stress Affects Your Goal Of Satisfying Your Customers

Preoccupied and distracted? You will find it harder to meet deadlines and you might compromise quality expectations to simply get the job done.

Worse than that your anxiety levels will rise, leaving you feeling like there is no time to research better alternatives to get the job done.

Step 1 – Recognise  Your Stressor And Take Action To Move On

Don’t try to tough the situation out (especially if you are a guy and you think ignoring the problem will be enough to get you through. It won’t)

Pay attention to figuring out what has caused this feeling of overwhelm. What has changed to make your day unmanageable?

Is the change permanent? What would it take to set up boundaries around the issue and call on support to make the situation bearable?

If you don’t want to take action because of the impact on your colleagues and your customers do it for the sake of your own health.

A Free Resource To Help You Move On From Stress

If you want some help to get started tackling your issue I have created a free downloadable resource available via this link – just fill in your name and email address then press the blue button to download the content. Start working through the material and producing better results.

https://experienceyourlife.coachesconsole.com/

Which 4 Letter Word Keeps You Moving Forward?

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Sunset Framed By Hands

What Will Motivate You Tomorrow? – Picture From Unsplash.com From Mayur Gala

The biopic documenting the life of Apple Founder Steve Jobs will be on screens soon. There are plenty of lessons to take from his innovative approach to life. I like the ones which flow from the memorable commencement speech he gave at Stanford University 10 years ago. That speech included these lines:

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

I think there are a couple of key ideas in this section of the speech

  • Your inner voice reflects your history, so it is best to pay attention to what it says
  • If you set boundaries for yourself you tune out noisy and unhelpful opinions
  • Caring about your self and others helps you move forward toward your goals

There is an extra bit of pathos in those words, since Steve Jobs knew his time was limited. He was living with cancer as he spoke (he died in October 2011).

Which 4 Letter Word Is More Important For You?

Is it Need? (meaning your wisdom and inner voice tell you something is necessary)?

  • You are driven to take action because your bills need to be paid
  • You need a more senior role in your organisation

Is it Love? (your overwhelming interest and pleasure in something)?

  • Your achievements come from rising to a fresh challenge
  • You are happiest producing an outcome that exceeds expectations

Will Need Or Love Drive You Forward Next Year?

Sometimes we can get so busy with life we lose sight of our driving force.

As far as I can tell Steve Jobs was driven by his love of a challenge and a desire to innovate. What’s true for you?

The people I have coached enjoy reconnecting with their motivation to be happier in themselves as well as more productive team players. Handy attributes to have, especially during tough economic times, when they focus is producing more, quicker and with less resources.

So, which principle – need or love – will help you with your goals next year? Use the Reply space to share your thinking with this community.

Extra Help On Offer

Would you appreciate some extra help working out which of your priorities to pay attention to? Then there is a free download available via this link (just fill in your name and email details then hit the blue button on the left hand side of the page)

https://experienceyourlife.coachesconsole.com/

 

How Does Your Community Benefit When You Act Like A #GoodWolf ?

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How Does Your Good Wolf Inspire Others?

How Does Your Good Wolf Inspire Others? – picture credit to Brigwer from Morguefile.com

How often do you ‘click’ with someone and find a way to support them in their goals?

I am lucky to be connected to several professional development networks. That means I have the chance to support others quite often. It feels good to pay it forward.

You have to be in the right frame of mind yourself to help someone else out. It is easier in some ways to be focused on your own agenda. Easier isn’t always best though.

Here’s a story about helping someone focus, inspired by Cherokee Nation culture.

 

The One You Feed

A grandfather and grandson are seated in Nature, deep in conversation.

The young man is troubled.

He tells his grandfather about the feelings of anger, envy and self-pity he has.

His grandfather tells him about the two wolves we all have within us.

The wolves are always circling each other, battling for supremacy.

One wolf is mournful, holding on to bad feelings from the past.

The other wolf is bright, joyful, loving and empathic.

Puzzled, the young man asks.

 

“If they are always there within us, which wolf wins the battle?

 

The grandfather paused.

His reply?

 

“It depends on the one you feed.

 

Contributing To Your Community

I know from my own experience that feeding the wrong wolf makes life miserable.

Spending too much time looking at set-backs leaves you stuck. It makes you self-centred. It weighs you down. It means you aren’t aware of others’ needs and don’t meet them.

I first experienced coaching (as a client) in the early 2000s. I had ended up overwhelmed by a project I was involved with. The experience of being coached made the process of returning to normal (being part of a team, producing great results) much easier.

 

What did I learn from the experience?

Being connected to your community is good. Being of service to that community is better. Taking positive action to help the community move forward is best.

 

How Can You Help The Communities To Which You Belong?

Tapping into your good wolf mind-set means you are better placed to help others. Your optimism inspires others to work optimistically because you understand others’ lives.

That kind of Empathy comes easily to good wolves. You can find out more about Empathy by clicking the link below.

http://bit.ly/BBC_Can_Empathy_Be_Taught_Roman_Krznaric

 

Want To Keep This Conversation Going?

Thank you for dropping by, reading this post, following, sharing and taking action that helps you experience a more fulfilling life.

I’d love to know how you change your thoughts when they get stuck in the negative zone. What’s your secret? How do you motivate your team / community to act positively and produce better results?

Leave your comments below. Your feedback is bound to be valuable to others in the community.

Don’t forget to share this post with the wolves you know.