How To Start Building #Rapport After #InternationalMensDay

Rapport Without Conflict

There’s No Conflict In Meeting Your Goals & Building Rapport – Picture From Pexels.Com

Freshly minted World Heavyweight Champion Anthony Joshua said it best in a recent Tweet

You Can’t Buy Loyalty. It  Comes From The Heart

He knows it takes time to build the kind of rapport which comes from the heart and means people warm towards you. For guys that can be a challenge. We don’t always open up emotional conversations; tell our authentic story;or ask for support when we need it.

It shouldn’t like a fight to achieve a goal if we are being authentic. Barriers like age, class, disability, ethnicity, faith, gender, politics and sexuality fall away.  

When people truly ‘get’ where we are coming from, it feels great. We can help them and draw on their support.

How Can We Start To Build Rapport?

Once we develop the skills and confidence to apply for our next role, or offer our services to the world, the challenge is to let others know we are ready to grow into bigger roles.

First, identify the way you want to introduce yourself to the group of people you would like to join. What parts of your life story chime with theirs? How will sharing your true self help to build rapport and what are the benefits, to them, of your world feeding into theirs?

How will you know they like what they see? 

Once you know who you are engaging with you can regularly use the social media channel they rely on. Show up, Comment, Like and Share too.

Where possible you can also take the plunge and meet your community in real life. Yes, there is the potential for falling flat on your backside. There is also the (greater) possibility that you will meet really interesting people, with whom you can share your wisdom. They become part of your world and you can be a loyal part of theirs.

Remember, when you finally ‘click’ with people it becomes a lot easier to offer support, ask for help and reach your goals. 

What’s Your Next Step?

There are people who need what you have to offer in the year ahead. There are also people who can support you, if and when you need it. Let them get to know you. Once they like and trust you their world and yours will become a much more progressive place.

Why not add your comment here and share your strategy for connecting to people on social media, or in real life. You can always Like and Share too.

Thanks for reading. Have a great week.

Roger

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3 Steps Toward Greater #Happiness In #CarersWeek

A Selection of fruit

Do Your Goals Include Diet, Exercise And Mindfulness?

It is (sort of) the middle of the year. Here comes an awkward question: what kind of a year has it been so far?

You’ve undertaken plenty of caring of course. Those you care for have benefited from your time. How often though have you taken care of yourself?

When you look back at the personal growth or self leadership goals you set yourself six months ago, how many have you completed? What do the incomplete ones have in common? Is there a goal which is completely untouched?

Are You Sometimes Fearful of Putting Yourself First?

What is keeping you from tackling that untouched goal you wrote down six months ago? Are you afraid of making a positive change for yourself? When you practice some mindfulness and look at what is happening in your body how do you feel? Would you feel disloyal if you spent some time on yourself?

3 Happiness Solutions Suggested By Carers 

I was privileged last Carers Week to lead a session looking at how we can take simple steps to improve our levels of Happiness.

As we rush around looking out for others we recognised the value of meeting our own needs. We focused on the low cost or free solutions which could help us provide for others in a better way, whilst meeting our own needs.

My part of the day captured several practical ideas for self care. Amongst other views one attendee said:

I enjoy cooking for my family

They were sharing the idea that providing good food for their loved ones helped them feel good.

Another person in the room felt energised by spending some personal time on exercise. They commented:

Going to the Gym makes me Happy!

Someone else was in reflective mood and noted that they felt better when surrounded by greenery:

Being outdoors in nature makes me smile

How Do You Care For Yourself?

How does your diet, exercise and leisure plan help you care better and manage your own well-being? How much positive feedback do you get from those for whom you care? What other suggestions do you have for making caring more manageable?

Thank you for reading this post. Feel free to share your well-being ideas in the comments and help other people with their day. If you have found this post helpful you can Share and Like it too. Visit the Members tab to sign up for free information about taking action on your goals.

How To Build #Resilience And Achieve #Success In Your #Goals

 

Thumbs Up

Thumbs Up For Resilience Image Via Pexels.Com

A lot can change in 48 hours. 

For instance last Monday you might have had a smile on your face as a result of the International Day of Happiness. You might even have seen the How To Be Happy recipes in the media and started planning the steps to take to become more satisfied with your work, life or family.  

Then on Wednesday came the terrorist attack in central London, which resulted in the death of police officer Keith Palmer and three others, plus over injuries to 50 other people. That is the kind of event which causes everyone to pause and wonder if there is a future in trying to make a positive change in the world.

Rising Above Set Backs  

From the extreme of terror attacks to the everyday reality of negative people, life puts challenges in our way.  Our ability to respond to those challenges can sometimes use a boost.

Instead of being knocked off course by testing events some people naturally continue to plan; take action; contribute to a better world.

What sets those people apart?

In a word they embrace resilience (they recover quickly from difficulties).

3 Steps To Greater Resilience 

If you want a greater ability to bounce back from set backs here are 3 steps to get you started  

  • Connect with the other people who share your values. Find them on social media. What are they talking about? What can you contribute to their conversation?
  • Take the next step and participate in the the group’s real life sessions. Offering your time and insight strengthens the online connection. .  
  • When you are ready step up to the next level of commitment and lead one of the group activities. Demonstrating your ability in this way will help you stand out and make your distinctive input be more memorable.

How Will You Build Up Your Resilience?

Use the comment section to share your strategy. How will you add to your stocks of resilience when you work on your goals? Please like and share this post if you know someone who will find it helpful.

Have You Tried These 3 Steps To Greater #Success When You Work On Your #Goals ?

Man Exercising Outside

Whatever Your Goal You Will Get Better Results Everyday – Original Image From Pexels.Com

You can take steps to start changing your life at any time, but plenty of people get going at the start of the New Year.

So, if you want to be a new man (or woman) this year here are 3 steps to take towards greater success as you pursue and attain your goals:

Agility

Start by sitting down with a piece of paper and a pen to work out what you will gain when you pay attention to your health, wealth or career goals.

Then become more agile in the way you move forward. Be clear in your mind and on paper what success looks like. Are you feeling successful when you reach your first milestone? If your first step has not worked out change approach. Be agile. Take another step in a different direction.

Bravery

Most people are not pursuing big goals. Most people are getting by. Having a bigger goal and working on it everyday means stepping out of the mainstream.

That’s a brave thing to do.

Doing something differently will create a boundary between the people who like the old you and those who want to see the new you emerge. How will you manage your feelings when you meet people who just don’t get what you are doing, or why you are doing it? Who will you get support from as you change?

Is there a local network of well motivated and goal-oriented people you can tap into? How would you feel about creating one if necessary?

Collaboration 

You will now have access to a group of buddies you can share your successes with, as they are also doing their personal development work and they get what you are going through.

You care about their progress just as much as they care about yours. Be your charming, collaborative self and be prepared to help others with their achievements. Those connections will help you open doors in future.

Your Next Step

What is your next big goal? What will you gain once you start working on it? How could an ABC approach help you get results?

Why not use the Comment section to share your motivation for taking action to help yourself. If you want to look at a few ‘How To’ ideas as you plan your next steps you can download a free ABC guide via this link https://experienceyourlife.me/members-access/   If you want to discuss your support needs you can schedule a conversation there too.

Keep an eye out for the next post, which will help you get more success from your goals this year.

3 Steps Towards More Success With Your #Goals And #Wellbeing

Congratulations if you have started a new project recently. The run up to Christmas is the time of year when people take a deep breath and say ‘Yes!’ to a University course, an Evening Class, or other life-changing challenge.

That bold investment of time, money and optimism involves:

  • Paying regular attention to your new goal
  • Setting boundaries so your time is well spent and you connect to supportive people
  • Caring about the quality of your outputs as you reach your next milestone

What About People Who Don’t Have New Goals?

It is OK not to pursue new goals. Sometimes caring for others and looking after yourself is enough. Although, having said that, there is always time for goal setting unless everything is perfect in the key areas of life which are important to most of us.

What Are The 3 Steps?

The 3 steps to greater well-being involve Goal-Setting, Taking Action, Connecting to Others who want to improve their situation concerning:

  • Fun
  • Health
  • Money
  • Relationships
  • Work

The next time you are relaxing over a cup of coffee, take the time to do a quick exercise on paper. Using the five headings above decide what score you give yourself out of 10 in each area.

Does one area stand out in the 1 to 5 range? How would it feel to set a goal and start improving that area?

What would you feel like in six months, to be surrounded by other happy, successful people who are feeling 8 out of 10 about life, just like you?

What Is Your Next Action?

If you want to take your first step toward fulfilment and well-being take a look at the short video. It highlights 3 key ideas central to getting started on tackling your goals.

Remember, there are more free resources in the Members’ Area which you can access too. Don’t forget to Like and Share this post to help others get started on their way to a more fulfilling life.

Good Luck!

Live More Happily And Empathically After #Internationalmenshealthweek

Happiness And Empathy Build A More Caring World

Happiness And Empathy Help Build Well Being

You might know that we are most of the way through International Men’s Health Week (13 to 19 June).

The 2016 theme is setting goals and taking action to reduce the stresses in your life. Being a happier man is one of the positive results.

A week ago, when I started planning what to post here about IMHW I was creating the sort of ‘How To’ information which could lead to less stressful living. It helps that  7 days ago I was also creating visuals, like the one above, as part of a Carers Week workshop on Experiencing Greater Happiness..

The workshop highlighted the close relationship between happiness and empathy, well-being Mindfulness and other healthier living ideas.

As I say that was the content I had planned.

Something changed over the weekend though.

What Can Happen When Empathy Is Missing?

Over the weekend a mentally troubled man decided to drive for an hour across Florida from his home to his destination and commit mass murder. This wasn’t a spur of the moment thing. He had armed himself with an assault rifle and a handgun.

His crime scene was the Pulse Bar (a venue which serves Orlando’s ethnically  diverse Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Trans and progressive straight communities). On the weekend it was full of people living life, enjoying liberty and pursuing happiness. Free to do so during Pride Month or any other time.

The shooter took advantage of that freedom.

He shot his way in, stalking the people he didn’t cut down immediately and holding some hostage. Ultimately he killed 49 people. His spree also led to 53 more clubbers being hospitalised.

Now every partner, sibling, parent and friend of the dead and injured will spend the rest of their lives living with the pain he inflicted.

How Men Can Use Empathy

A few days has made a big difference to my sense of what ‘men’s health’ means.

From wanting to talk about the simple goal of happiness for men I end up talking about big ideas like empathy, well-being, connection and care.

We need to work on solutions for men – straight, bi, gay, queer, questioning men – so that we are better able to manage our inner state and our relationships with the world.

In the days ahead it is important we do what we can to connect to and care for each other a bit more than usual.

We can all use empathy to better understand what is happening in other people’s lives and how they might be feeling.

In particular, if you feel there is someone close to you who seems overwhelmed take time to check in with him. That’s really important since (Breaking News) men don’t always volunteer information about ‘feelings’.

So fellas, try empathy. Simply asking your mate, your brother, your partner ‘How Are You’, then listening to the tone of the answer and supporting them through tough times can make all the difference.

How Will You Make A Difference?

Thanks for reading this post on the challenges facing men. How will you act differently now? As I finalised these words the discussion over the murder of British Parliamentarian Jo Cox – and the disconnected background of the suspect – is ringing in my ears.

Something has to change.

Feel free to share this post with anyone who would find it useful. I am on Twitter @RogerD_Said if you want to comment on the themes I mentioned.

 

Here Are 3 Life Skills You Gain As A #Carer

Words Related To Work

Skills Matter – Wherever They Come From (Image From Alvimann From Morguefile.com)

Dementia Awareness Week just ended* and it has put the spotlight on the role played by thousands of part and full time carers out there.

In particular I’ve talked to several people involved with caring for Dementia patients. Those conversations reminded me of the many valuable skills you get from caring for others. Skills which offer a lot to employers seeking fresh talent..

Professional Skills Gained Through Volunteering

Ever focused exclusively on the goal of helping others and lost track of your own priorities? Not to worry, there is an answer to the question:

OK I have done a lot of caring – how do I run those talents into worthwhile job skills?

The skills you use to look after others look good on a resume or CV, especially if you can relate them to the types of employment that interest you.

The trick is to explain the situation in which the skill was used, what task you were responsible for and the action you carried out. What results did you achieve illustrating the skills you want to highlight?

There is a long list of skills from which you can choose, including the following:

Action Planning

You need to be aware** of what you want to achieve before you can become a good planner. Once you are focused on your main task you will be ready to help to bring about the right results, at the right time.

However you go about your planning (maybe you use a wall chart, a smart phone app, or a diary) you still know what results you expect to create at each stage.

You also know which legal, medical or financial rules you have to follow at each stage to get what you want.

What does a successful final outcome look like?

Managing Collaborations

It is exhausting to try to achieve results on your own.

How do you communicate with others so you build new relationships and bring allies into your world?

What do you offer to bring their skills on board?

Problem Solving

Even the best plans can get derailed by unforeseen problems.

Obviously you will have tried to manage the basic risks involved in your project. What does your Plan B look like, should things go wrong?

How will Plan B bring the overall project back into line?

How do you record what you have achieved to ensure you learn how to get better results next time?

Your Next Steps

Thanks for reading about 3 of the key skills which caring can add to your CV. I would love to hear from you. What skills have you gained through volunteering? How have you used those skills in your professional life?

Use the Comment section to share your story, or Tweet me @RogerD_Said. If this post was useful please share it with a friend who would benefit from reading it.

Finally…

*Here is a useful link about Dementia – https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/

** Here is a 30 minute video I recorded recently, worth a look if you would like to learn more about self- awareness. http://bit.ly/Self-Awareness-Superstar-Part-1-Of-3