How To Start Building #Rapport After #InternationalMensDay

Rapport Without Conflict

There’s No Conflict In Meeting Your Goals & Building Rapport – Picture From Pexels.Com

Freshly minted World Heavyweight Champion Anthony Joshua said it best in a recent Tweet

You Can’t Buy Loyalty. It  Comes From The Heart

He knows it takes time to build the kind of rapport which comes from the heart and means people warm towards you. For guys that can be a challenge. We don’t always open up emotional conversations; tell our authentic story;or ask for support when we need it.

It shouldn’t like a fight to achieve a goal if we are being authentic. Barriers like age, class, disability, ethnicity, faith, gender, politics and sexuality fall away.  

When people truly ‘get’ where we are coming from, it feels great. We can help them and draw on their support.

How Can We Start To Build Rapport?

Once we develop the skills and confidence to apply for our next role, or offer our services to the world, the challenge is to let others know we are ready to grow into bigger roles.

First, identify the way you want to introduce yourself to the group of people you would like to join. What parts of your life story chime with theirs? How will sharing your true self help to build rapport and what are the benefits, to them, of your world feeding into theirs?

How will you know they like what they see? 

Once you know who you are engaging with you can regularly use the social media channel they rely on. Show up, Comment, Like and Share too.

Where possible you can also take the plunge and meet your community in real life. Yes, there is the potential for falling flat on your backside. There is also the (greater) possibility that you will meet really interesting people, with whom you can share your wisdom. They become part of your world and you can be a loyal part of theirs.

Remember, when you finally ‘click’ with people it becomes a lot easier to offer support, ask for help and reach your goals. 

What’s Your Next Step?

There are people who need what you have to offer in the year ahead. There are also people who can support you, if and when you need it. Let them get to know you. Once they like and trust you their world and yours will become a much more progressive place.

Why not add your comment here and share your strategy for connecting to people on social media, or in real life. You can always Like and Share too.

Thanks for reading. Have a great week.

Roger

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Here Are 3 Relationship Building Skills You Need To Practice

Business Cards Can Help Build Relationships

How Hard Do You Listen Before You Try To Be Of Service ?

Have you ever had someone give you a business card before they say anything to you?

There must be some psychological trigger at work. One where the card giver looks at you and thinks ‘That person has a professional appearance. I must introduce them to what I have to offer’

The card giver doesn’t know who you are – or what you might need – you are another person to whom they gave a business card at that event.

Without getting to know you they want you to know them and why their online marketing process (or whatever) represents a great opportunity for you.

Annoying isn’t it?

What Are The 3 Relationship Building Skills You Need?

I think a better approach to building a relationship involves listening. Then making time to establish rapport. From that mutual place of trust you can go forward. You might get to a point where the other person is deeply engaged with what you are saying.

Here are 3 skills at the heart of engaged relationships. Having these 3 elements in place makes it easier to say what you mean concerning your project / area of work / bright idea:

Empathy – How much time have you spent building your knowledge of the needs of the particular niche you want to service?

  • Who is in that niche?
  • What stresses are they under?
  • How does your ‘thing’ reduce those pressures?

Authenticity – Have you been a member of the niche you are focusing on?

  • What true ‘Before and After’ story can you tell to connect you to it?
  • How passionate are you about offering service to your niche?
  • What do you want people to feel when they first encounter your work?

Self-Awareness – How much effort do you want to make in building and maintaining these relationships?

  • What signals tell you that you are holding the other person’s attention?
  • How do you vary what you are doing to deepen your connection?
  • How do you feel if the other person says they are not interested?

There’s A Google Hangout You Might Want To Join

I am hosting a Google Hangout on 12 May looking into these issues – I hope you will want to join in. Follow the link if so.

https://plus.google.com/events/c67917issejfjbmbupmuv125nho

What Is Your Next Step?

Thanks for reading to the end. What step will you take today to build more productive relationships? Feel free to comment below – or Tweet @RogerD_Said – share this post with the people you know who would benefit from reading it.

3 Steps Toward Better Diversity Results And #TVWeWant

 

 

There’s a good chance you haven’t thought about diversity lately.

 

Why would you need to pay attention to diversity after all?

 

Unless one of your goals is to meet the needs of a diverse group of customers (or you have a personal story which connects you to a disadvantaged group) you just get on with providing products and services on an equal basis.

 

However there is a risk associated with not showing  inspired leadership. That risk involves failing to meet the needs of different staff within organisations / industries and not paying attention to different customers / clients.

 

We each have a different life story. Leaders who build on the range of talent available make their team members feel engaged in producing outstanding results since their  unique contribution matters.

 

Diversity Problems In Hollywood Echo Those In UK Television  

 

Follow the link in the Tweet if you want to check out my LinkedIn post on the Diversity Problem within the Hollywood film industry.

 

A similar discussion about the exclusive nature of an industry is taking place within UK public service broadcasting circles. What role will ethnically diverse staff and others at the margins play in that future? You can contribute to the discussion at www.futureoftv.org.uk

 

The Risk Of Staying The Same

 

If the people responsible for bringing new talent into organisations only hire people like themselves they aren’t helping solve the lack of diversity issue.

 

Staying the same within an organisation means it is likely the range of ideas, insight and engagement available to that organisation will remain limited. Customers won’t be served with the widest selection of offers possible.

 

More than that. If the sector stays the same don’t be surprised if in 5 years’ time award winners, Directors, Department Heads and senior staff still do not reflect the widest pool of talent.

 

A Better Way Forward

 

It seems to me there is a better way forward for media, or other business organisations.

 

I think that recruiting, retaining and supporting the progress of a diverse range of creatives (staff) can only widen the rich mix of broadcast output (products and services).

 

A greater mix of outputs makes it easier to achieve customer satisfaction.

 

3 Self Help Steps Toward Greater Diversity

 

So, assuming diversity matters to you here are 3 self-help steps which reflect my experience of supporting the development of women and men from diverse backgrounds since the 1990s:

 

  • Present yourself in a way which highlights your present experience and future potential (don’t get defined by other people’s view of you)

 

  • Record your achievements regularly using testimonials, feedback and a goal setting process (ensure those achievements count towards your next step)

 

  • Support others pursuing their professional development and seek support yourself where necessary (be determined to make the progress appropriate to your ambition)

 

Visit www.experienceyourlife.coachesconsole.com to download a FREE tool to help you tackle your key presentation, achievement or support goals (just fill in your contact info and press the big blue button).

 

Thanks for reading this post (please share it with anyone who would find it useful). Also feel free to join in the discussion on the theme of diversity here in the comment section or on Twitter @RogerD_Said

 

Here Are Some UK Diversity Dates For Your Diary

 

LGBT History Month (February)

International Women’s Day (8 March)

Black History Month (October)

International Men’s Day (19 November)

Disability History Month (22 November – 22 December)

How To Take One Small Step Towards A Happier New Year

Astronaut Spacewalk Extra Vehicular Activity

What Giant Leap Will You Make By Acting On Your Goal? Image From Pexels.Com

For a while, when I was little, I wanted to be an astronaut.

With hindsight that idea said a lot about escapism (home life wasn’t always ideal to be honest). From what I can remember though I thought being a spaceman would be a pretty cool job. I mean how difficult could it be to live in a spaceship, with nothing holding you down, doing science stuff indoors and outside that helped people?

Turns out the science stuff and helping people isn’t that easy, as people have baggage and getting a good result has an impact on a lot of other people.

Teamwork

I definitely didn’t realise how much people rely on each other to make plans turn into reality. a long list of other people made it possible for the astronaut to do their thing.

For instance I didn’t know how crowded an astronaut’s life is: it took more than Tim Peake and the other 2 people in the Soyuz capsule to get the latest crew onto the International Space Station.

When the computers plotting the capsule’s approach to the ISS got the final stage wrong it was US astronaut Tim Kopra who passed manual docking control to Russian Commander Yuri Malenchenko, while ground controllers at Russia’s Mission Control Centre monitored developments and the ISS crew held their breath.

It took 3 attempts. Working together the team of astronauts got the job done (collaboration helps during spacewalks too). No lone heroics, just great teamwork. Overcoming difficulties usually depends on one person being open enough to say ‘I can’t do this on my own’ and to ask another person for help.

Mission Control We Have A Problem

So here is the thing, people can hold on to their difficulty for quite a while before looking for someone with whom to connect (ask any coach about building trusting relationships which offer others support ). Imagine holding on to a burden for months, years, or decades even. What kind of toll would that take?

Now imagine being able to flow freely, without that burdensome weight getting in the way. How much more could you accomplish for others? How much easier would your own life be? 

The skilful coach understands others’ obvious and subtle needs (they might say they need clarity about their next step during an overwhelming period at work to start with. They might also be open to receiving support at a deeper level, so they can reduce the stress in their personal relationship)

Are you ready to get the support you deserve?

One Small Step

In a month, as part of my mission for the new year, I will support some people to take a small step toward a freer flowing 2016. My workshop in London on 23 January will help those ready to take one small step to turn their career, life, or wellbeing resolutions into reality*.

Use the Comment section to share your big goal for the new year (or get in touch via Twitter @RogerD_Said ). Also keep an eye out for updates, as I will share a few of the strategies I am going to use, ahead of time.

Meanwhile, wherever on Earth (or above it) you happen to spend the day have a very Happy Christmas.   

One Giant Leap

*Hit the link below if you would like to know more about the 23 January event in London. Book a seat and join others helping to turn their goals into reality

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/turn-your-resolution-into-reality-now-tickets-20034420491

How To Take A Step Forward On #InternationalMensDay

I had a really interesting conversation at a networking event earlier this week.

A woman guest and I were talking about the all the different ways it is possible to be of service and to ask for support so you can improve. Here’s a big generalisation that I brought to our discussion:

Women and men have different ideas about seeking support while they tackle their working day 

Plenty Of Men Aren’t Alpha Males

I went to a Boy’s school, so I grew up knowing a bit about bullying and that some guys held more of the cards than I did (and weren’t shy about pointing that out).

For every Alpha male out there you will find plenty of ordinary guys who are trying to do the best they can with what they have got.

Where many women will reach out and work effectively together to do more than ‘get by’, many men will try to go it alone, toughing it out in isolation, without showing any vulnerability.

Perhaps (at the extreme end of the scale) that is part of the reason why three times as many men take their own lives, as compared to women.

Men Can Take Action

Keeping calm and carrying on only highlights the distance some men maintain between their inner world and the effective support networks they can tap into. 

If there is truth in the men-go-it-alone generalisation then men will keep losing out. They would be better off making time to be thoughtful, working out how they need to grow and taking action to improve their situation. The alternative is spending more time working and less time:

  • paying attention to their inner growth goals
  • deciding where their boundaries lie, so they don’t end up shortchanging their family, friends and community
  • caring about the impact they have on the people they serve, including their clients, their colleagues and the wider community

Making A Difference

I hope that today (International Men’s Day) someone reading this post will decide to set themselves a goal and take an action which helps to improve their quality of life and benefit their community, team and family too.

Share this post with someone for whom it will make a difference today or tomorrow (and comment below if it resonates with you).

Finally, if you want FREE Downloadable information to start the improvement wheels turning for yourself, or a man in your life, please visit
https://experienceyourlife.coachesconsole.com/   

Does Your #SocialMediaPresence Deserve A Thumbs Up?

 

How Well Does Your Use Of Social Media Connect You To Your Community? Picture From Gabor From Hungary From Morguefile.com

How Well Does Your Use Of Social Media Connect You To Your Community? Picture From Gabor From Hungary From Morguefile.com

You are not alone if you visit social media sites to get information to help you with a problem.

According to http://internetlivestats.com Google now processes over 40,000 search engine queries every second on average.

Imagine getting a thumbs up from someone in your community for posting something which precisely answers one of those queries and makes their problem go away.

If you make someone that happy they could potentially become one of your passionate customers.

How Does Your Content Solve Specific Problems?

Two weeks ago I spoke about tackling social media goals to an audience of startups and micro business people. One of the questions which came was how to create content which generates more engagement.

Audience members were frustrated having written an attention grabbing headline and great content, only to have no one comment on it.

Some entrepreneurs in the audience felt like giving up when their carefully written posts seemed to have no impact.

I thought there could be one missing element in those posts: a call to action.

What’s The Purpose Of Calling People To Action?

The audience and I talked about what kind of posts had impact and why.

We also discussed what could be done with less impactful posts to get people to engage.

We agreed that their social media content probably solved the problem which the questioner was facing.

What could be done to take that conversation further? Calling the audience to take action.

We recognised that content which stands out from the flood of posts calls the questioner to take action. Those posts invite people to engage with the content creator. The engagement benefits both the person with the enquiry and the content supplier.

Benefits Of Calling Your Community To Action

For the person with the problem it is useful to stay in touch with a reliable source of information. Who knows what further insight that source could offer in future?

For the supplier expanding their community has several benefits.

  • Their expert profile increases as more people come to know them.
  • They can experience word of mouth recommendation, as their audience likes what they do.
  • They can prove so trustworthy that people respond to their products, services or projects.      

3 Ways To Add Value With Your Social Media Presence

  • Deliver information which helps to resolve a problem for a specific community member
  • Keep your presentation as simple and straight-forward as possible
  • Prompt your reader to take an action by leaving their comment, sharing your post, hitting the Like button, or trusting you with their email address so you can offer them future service

Here’s How To Continue This Conversation

Thanks for reading this post. I hope it has got you thinking about your use of social media. What will you now do to better connect with your community?

I’ll be exploring these themes in more detail in a workshop on 12 September (more information in future posts). Meanwhile here are some questions you can feedback on:

  • Who wrote the most effective post you have engaged with this year?
  • What made you comment having read it?
  • What else did it inspire you to do?
  • Who did you share it with?


Use the comment space below to add your voice to the discussion. If you Tweet your reply to @RogerD_Said please include the hashtag #SocialMediaPresence to make it easy to follow the conversation.

How Do Clients Benefit When Their #CoachesLikeCPD ?

I was surprised, but happy. Start up voluntary communities can – eventually – produce big results, when members work together.

Let me explain.

18 months ago I joined a continuing professional development (CPD) network for coaches. 12 months ago I decided to volunteer my skills and become one of the network’s co-organisers.

Since then I’ve hosted a number of CPD events. I’ve learned a lot from each session. That’s good, as I have been able to add value to the next session with what I learned from the last one (and try out new approaches like video). The people in front of me have been the beneficiaries.

How Do You Measure The Benefit Of Your Actions?

I am pleased to have played a part in improving the group’s outputs. The proof that volunteering to help CPD (or anything else) benefits others?

  • The group’s reputation as a CPD hub has risen in line with its visibility (100+ hard earned Facebook Likes and growing).
  • Collaboration between group members means their joint efforts produce better results for their clients.
  • Knowledge is shared between members who aren’t yet at the stage of collaborating.
  • New and well established members have an equal chance to contribute to group discussions, pursue future learning goals and put smiles on clients’ faces.

How Do You Volunteer And What Are The Benefits Of Spending Your Free Time Serving Others?

Thanks for reading this post. If it has been useful please share it with someone who can benefit from it.

By the way, what is the best you have result you have achieved for others by volunteering your time? Share your feedback below, or on Twitter @RogerD_Said – others would love to know what you think.

Want To Know More About The Benefits CPD?

Here is a link to the CPD group I co-organise, along with talented leaders @CliveMaxheath and @rjIvanov. You can get an idea of our agenda and more detail about the vision behind the headline by checking the group out http://www.meetup.com/Practical-and-Business-Skills-for-CoachPreneurs/

If you want more Big Picture perspective check out my company page below, which is in development. Fill in your email details and make personal growth part of your agenda.

www.experienceenterprisesltd.co.uk