Strictly In Confidence

JLS

JLS (Photo credit: Beacon Radio)

I came across an interesting www.mindtools.com interview with Brian Tracy recently on the theme of building self-confidence.

To Brian’s way of thinking there are four keys to having self-confidence and being perceived in that way, to paraphrase:

First, focus on the goal you want

Second, maintain yourself in positive thinking state

Third, look for the good in situations

Fourth, look for the valuable lesson from situations

There are seemingly people in the public arena who are developing their self-confidence as well as those who appear more confident.  I wondered how applicable confidence-based perspectives would be to some trending news topics.

First, would Liverpool FC’s Luis Suarez find anger management even more helpful if he focused confidently on being the best striker he can be, without acting aggressively when challenged?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-22264123

Secondly, would Jan Moir be a more celebrated Daily Mail columnist if she thought more positively about others’ efforts?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2313184/Katherine-Jenkins-simply-help-stealing-limelight-says-JAN-MOIR.html

Thirdly, could looking forward to the next phase in their lives be any sweeter for the members of successful singing group JLS, once their final tour is complete?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/music/10014463/X-Factor-boy-band-JLS-are-to-split-after-five-years.html

Finally, could a discussion featured in the Guardian newspaper, about the nature and importance of good quality public services be more timely?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2013/apr/23/michael-ledwidge-save-public-services

Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance

Roger Ebert, american film critic.

Roger Ebert, american film critic. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There are supposedly five stages of grief associated with significant change.  Elizabeth-Kubler Ross identified them as Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.

 

Without commenting on the politics involved it seemed to me that people in Durham – and elsewhere – celebrating Lady Thatcher’s demise were acting out their anger.  They were nowhere near accepting that changes had affected local, national and international communities.

 

Lady Thatcher’s biographer, Charles Moore, singled out the BBC as a broadcast outlet which ‘behaved badly’ in stirring up non-issues about Thatcher dissenters.   In his grief he may have experienced some denial, as Sky News coverage of anti-Thatcher sentiments seemed to be just as extensive.

 

US film critic Roger Ebert’s inspiring achievements (both before his 2006 life-changing health crisis and subsequently) are also food for thought regarding the five stages model.  The BBC’s Ouch blog posting below contains details.

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/margaret-thatcher/10001850/BBC-behaved-badly-over-Margaret-Thatchers-death-says-official-biographer.html

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-ouch-22183313

The Iron Lady

English: Margaret Thatcher, former UK PM. Fran...

English: Margaret Thatcher, former UK PM. Français : Margaret Thatcher 日本語: 「鉄の女」サッチャー英首相 Nederlands: Margaret Thatcher Svenska: Margaret Thatcher som oppositionsledare 1975 Русский: Маргарет Тэтчер, бывшая премьер-министр Великобритании (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Here is a post I promised earlier concerning the Iron Lady.

Back in the spring of 1979 at my school Mr Robinson’s sociology class was set a topical assignment. We were given a project brief to write about the upcoming election in any way we chose.

I chose to survey the local shop keepers’ voing intentions; cut the editorials out of the newspaper; and watch a range of political programmes on BBC and ITV (this was years before multiple channels and social media).

Being a bit retentive I still have the project I completed all that time ago. It is quite something to look back at what I wrote then, a few days after Lady Thatcher‘s funeral service at St Paul’s Cathedral.

My conclusion in 1979 was that Mrs Thatcher won the election because workers wanted her to control their soaring taxes.  I also thought that underneath her ‘mother knows best’ persona was a much harder woman, who could do battle with the best of them.  I additionally thought that her offer to strivers, council house tenants, and small business people seemed to have helped her secure her victroy.

Who knew then that, subsequently, war in the Falkland Islands; struggles with the National Union of Mineworkers; establishing the Right To Buy council houses and the deregulatory ‘Big Bang’ in the City of London would help her toward two further election victories and cement her reputation as one of the significant political presences of the post-war era.

Amazing what can be achieved with a strong sense of self-esteem; defining set of values (Thatcherism) ;coaching to establish a powerful personal brand; and an instinct for meeting the aspirations of the politically non-aligned.

Even then it was possible to see that by standing out so clearly from the political crowd she would distinguish herself one way, or another.

Older And Wiser

The Age UK logo

The Age UK logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

Without a great fanfare Dame Joan Bakewell has celebrated her 80th birthday.  She has been a mainstay of the brodcast world since the 1960s and shows no sign of taking it easy now.   It is a long way from the BBC’sThat Was The Week That Was‘ programme with David Frost, to Sky Arts 2013 portraiture competition, capturing the essence of Hilary Mantel.  The Guardian newspaper has a modest editorial on that subject, which I found interesting.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/apr/16/in-praise-joan-bakewell-editorialI was thinking of the impact of people living longer and enjoying good health when I came across some research from Age UK, the chariy for older people, concerning ‘Improving Later Life’.   Apparently one of the key issues for those in their mid to late 80s is continuing to have social interaction, to counter the trend to loneliness and isolation which might other wise set in.

Both of these points are important.  Remaining active and engaged with the world, whilst combatting isolation, help individuals sustain their health, well-being and confidence.  There is also a tremendous opportunity for self-discovery as there is more time in which people can indulge in some life long learning and further spiritual growth.  That’s a win for older people, their families and the community at large.

Women Mean Business

Middle Management

Middle Management (Photo credit: p_a_h)

For obvious reasons last week saw a bit of commentary about women in leadership roles (and I will blog about Lady Thatcher later on, but not I think the Tribunal case involving Stella English, Lord Sugar’s former Apprentice).

 

Meanwhile there is plenty to chew over in the latest Cranfield School of Management research on female board level appointments.  Apparently the rate at which women are making it to the top is slowing: confidence is still the issue.

 

If confidence is the cornerstone of achievement, the implication from Cranfield is that too few women in middle management have it.  They lack the potent belief in themselves that could take them to the top.  Perhaps men in line for top jobs will take the chance that they are good enough for the promotion right now, where women will be more cautious.

 

It seems the challenge for senior managers, as they nurture junior talent, remains:

 

–       Spotting potential high flyers, irrespective of gender or other differences

 

–       Providing them with opportunities to shine

 

–       Supporting them as their confidence grows

 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/apr/11/every-woman-boardroom-pull-more-up

Anti Social Media Part 2

Logo of the Kent Police.

Logo of the Kent Police. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Understandably Paris Brown has turned down her appointment as Youth Police and Crime Commissioner in Kent.   This was probably inevitable once the Kent police themselves started to investigate the legality of Ms Brown’s contentious Tweets.

 

Credit to her for facing the media though.   As Commissioner Ann Barnes’ 9 April statement points out, Ms Brown shows courage by appearing publically to withdraw from the job.

 

Second time around, the Kent recruitment panel will have to find someone who hasn’t thrown words around casually online, since registering on Twitter.  A clean searchable history means that the next Youth Commissioner will be able to concentrate on their post, without the need for explanations of the ‘right’ context of their language.

 

Mind you, speech was ephemeral when I was 17.  I am glad I am not accountable for some of the things I said then, or since.  I would have been mortified to have my youthful thoughts captured and shared online.  I’m not sure how I would have handled being a headline item within a 24 hour news cycle.

 

Coincidentally a recent article in the Guardian newspaper shows that information from the pre-digital era can still turn up on search engines, whether or not it is an accurate reflection of the subject.  That’s a sobering thought.

 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2013/apr/04/web-case-histories-digital-past

 

Perhaps the learning point from these events is this: however detailed your life-plan is everyone makes mistakes, some of which are large enough to be subject to scrutiny by prospective employers, partners, in-laws and the press.  Handling the scrutiny gracefully is part of the the key to managing the long-term impact of those mistakes.

Anti Social Media

Image representing Twitter as depicted in Crun...

Image via CrunchBase

I’ve posted about social media before, so it is no surprise to say that Paris Brown gets some of my sympathy.

Imagine being 17 years old, casually Tweeting your thoughts to your mates, and a year later holding a post as a youth Police Crime Commissioner in Kent, where your words are regarded as anything but casual.  Talk about making your growing up mistakes in public.

 

Many of us are learning the hard way that Twitter, Facebook, WordPress and their peers are not transient media.  It is difficult to put a favourable context on what Paris Brown said.  She got it wrong.  An apology after the fact for ‘any offence that I have caused’ sounds increasingly like damage limitation.  Deleting the Tweets won’t mean they will be forgotten.  Bottom line, it is difficult, but not impossible, to erase a digital history.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/video/2013/apr/05/how-to-delete-yourself-from-the-internet-video

 

In a sign of the times the British Library is to store some social media output for posterity.  Perhaps every social media user needs to act on a simple goal: to use their chosen medium in way that would reflect their personal brand positively, if what they wrote was to be saved by the British Library.

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/9977188/Teenage-PCC-apologises-for-showing-off-with-offensive-Twitter-remarks.html

The Things You Learn From The Movies

Screenshot of Paul Henreid, Ingrid Bergman, Cl...

Screenshot of Paul Henreid, Ingrid Bergman, Claude Rains and Humphrey Bogart from the trailer for the film Casablanca. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Happy Birthday Warner Brothers.  This week, courtesy of the Daily Telegraph, I learned that this film studio is 90 years old.  David Grittens’ article suggests that Warner Brothers introduced a grittier sort of realism to the cinema audience of the 1920s and 30s.

 

For a start their actors – including Ingrid Bergman, Humphrey Bogart, James Cagney, Bette Davis – looked right for their roles, rather than being picture perfect.   You know they have lived a little and will use that life experience, one way or another, as the story unfolds.

 

Being liberal – and very tongue in cheek – with the concept of realism I would say Warner Brothers offers some personal development pointers too.  Here are three thoughts on the subject.

 

Casablanca’s Rick would love to rekindle the pre-war romance he had with Ilsa.  However he adjusts what he wants in favour of what the situation (War, Fidelity, Resistance) demands.  He lets her go.  They will always have Paris after all.  That sounds like a simple action to take, but the impact it has for all concerned is huge.

 

Wile E Coyote will always strive to catch the Roadrunner and will always come to grief doing so.  He doesn’t stop to learn wisdom from the many setbacks he experiences – with or without the help of Acme Corporation products.  He probably needs a coach to support him in identifying realistic options and then to do some effective action planning.

 

Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight might also benefit from some support, so that Bruce Wayne can look deep underneath the Kevlar body armour and find out what he truly wants.  That might make his life less conflict-prone.

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/starsandstories/9969454/Warner-Brothers-ninety-years-of-grit-and-greatness.html

It’s All About The Goals

Michael Owen

Michael Owen (Photo credit: emphasis)

There was an interesting Guardian article at the end of March about Michael Owen’s source of motivation to become the best footballer he could be.  There’s a lot to agree with in the piece and some points on which I take a different view.  On the plus side in the article he says:

 

“Reaching the top of your profession on your own is nigh on impossible. Doing it with the support of others gives you a small chance.  Having the support of all your family, while being guided by a father like mine made it hard to fail”.

 

From a young age Michael Owen put a lot of effort into pleasing his father.  Luckily the desire to please his parent chimed with his own growing desire to excel at his chosen sport.

 

On the other side, I think there is more to be said about the balancing elements of motivating a young person to achieve good results and their own desire to succeed , in sport or elsewhere.

 

What little I know about developmental psychology comes into play here.  Parents may say ‘you need to be better at this subject’ and the child may believe ‘I want to be better’.  If so, great results are possible.   If the pressure is all external – the parent bearing down on the child – there is a risk that the child will try hard and be unhappy doing so.

 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/mar/30/michael-owen-motivation-please-dad

You Can Get It If You Really Try

Vintage Ad #1,177: Tired of Being Skinny?

Vintage Ad #1,177: Tired of Being Skinny? (Photo credit: jbcurio)

There is something about being in a supportive environment, I think, that makes success easier to achieve.  Here are a couple of instances to mull over.

 

First, it is worth noting that Joe Weider died not so long ago, at the age of 93.  Who was he?  Well he was the physical culture mentor to an Austrian body builder named Arnold Schwarzenegger back in the 1970s.  According to Arnie’s web site Mr Weider was responsible for teaching Mr S and his fellow gym regulars that:

 

“…through hard work and training we could all be champions.”

 

Who knows, without Mr Weider’s unwavering support would Mr Schwarzenegger’s CV include film actor, Planet Hollywood co-founder, Governor of California and whatever else he has up his sleeve?

 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2013/mar/24/weightlifting-arnold-schwarzenegger

 

Second, as the cliché goes, some people talk, others actually ‘do’.  Someone who has been actively trying to make his mark, since the age of 10, is Nick Daloisio.  Now at 17 years of age he is an employee of Yahoo, that company having purchased his ‘Summly’ software application supposedly for £19m.

 

His interview with the Guardian newspaper makes him sound quite down to earth and not money mad.  His mother Diana says:

 

“[she is surprised his success] happened so soon, but we always knew Nicholas was technical and talented.”

 

There seems to be a lot of faith invested in the young millionaire by his family.  They certainly gave him licence to spend plenty of time on his computer getting his ideas together.  It wasn’t a get-rich-quick vision either.  He says in the same article that:

 

“… If the motivation had been money, I’d be going off laughing. But because the motivation was technology and product, this is just the beginning of what I want to do.”

 

If Mr Daloisio.is so inventive at 17 I wonder what influence he will be wielding in the world of software at 27?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2013/mar/29/summly-creator-nick-daloisio-interview

Equally, if one’s working or home environment is not so supportive how much effort is required to find others to share one’s dream and make it happen?