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Starting. Stopping. Starting Again.

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You have within you, right now, everything you...

You have within you, right now, everything you need to deal with whatever the world can throw at you. -Brian Tracy (Photo credit: deeplifequotes)

It is easy to start making progress and feeling good about achieving modest changes, then stop to admire the view.  Starting again and keeping going is a harder challenge.  Outstanding results are probably the product of a commitment to keeping going with a determination to achieve higher standards.

 

I was thinking about differing levels of commitment the other day as I came across the notes I wrote nine months ago on a client I worked with last summer.

 

My client was a woman considering career change options that would improve her work / life balance and allow her to grow as a person.  After two constructive sessions I was looking forward to a third discussion about what steps she was prepared to take to incrementally progress toward her goals.  From what the client said at the end of the second session she too was motivated to do more work next time.

 

However, for reasons unknown, my client wasn’t ready for that conversation.  In fact she wasn’t ready for any further contact.  I didn’t hear from her at the appointed time, or subsequently either time I offered her an alternate date for a fresh session.  Her silence was eloquent in itself.

 

I hope, when the time is right for her, she will find a supportive helper with whose assistance she can move forward.

 

I contrast that level of commitment to self-development to a seemingly narrow comment about succeeding in the music industry which the song-writer Cathy Dennis made recently.  Ms Dennis was addressing a music industry writers group, Basca, and The Institute of Contemporary Music in London.  On reflection her comment actually has a universal applicability I think.  Speaking about the inspiration necessary to get started and to keep going in the music world (and create hits for Kylie, the Sugababes, and Katy Perry along the way) she said:

 

‘If you believe in yourself you have to be prepared to knuckle down and put in the hours and really commit to what you want to do…[decision makers] told me I wasn’t right, I wasn’t good enough – and that was great for me because every time that happens you realise you are going to have to take control and do it for yourself’.

 

Perhaps it is easier to strive to attain outstanding results in a field which you are driven to operate within.  If you are trying out different options – to see which one fits – it might be harder to acknowledge things are not working out.  It must be daunting to hold your hand up and say, can I try something else, this isn’t working for me?.

 

So for me one of the three essentials on the client’s side of the coaching relationship (along with Clarity and Commitment) is Honesty.  You can only begin to take steps toward getting what you want – it seems to me – if you are clear about your goal (in true Brian Tracy fashion); committed to attaining it; and honest with yourself about how important it is to you.

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-21790582

 

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Digital footprints

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I’ve blogged about thoughtful use of social media before – most recently in the October 2012 post In Cyberspace Not Everyone ‘Likes’ You  – however a spate of recent stories caught my eye.

 

Black Eyed Peas anyone?

Black Eyed Peas anyone? (Photo credit: Twitchietai)

First, there is the revelation that seemingly innocuous ‘Likes’ on Facebook can reveal much more personal detail than users imagine.  According to a Cambridge University  study, quoted in the press, important facets of one’s personality such as social standing; religious identity; even sexual orientation are – supposedly – discernible from what users say on the platform.

 

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/features/like-curly-fries-youre-clever-like-motorbikes-youre-not-the-science-of-facebook-likes-8530101.html

 

Then there is the sobering thought that if you get into a virtual feud with someone on Twitter they may very well track you down, for a very real confrontation.  If in doubt look at what boxer Curtis Woodhouse did to confront the critic who mocked him on line.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/2013/mar/12/english-boxer-curtis-woodhouse-twitter-troll

 

Finally, there is recognition that young people are savvy consumers of new media but are not necessarily skilled in producing it.  Former Black Eyed Peas vocalist Will.i.am has donated £500,000 of his own money to the Prince’s Trust to support the development of young people’s knowledge of science, technology, engineering and mathematics (the STEM subjects) where skills are lacking.

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-21747206

 

Unless we choose not to have a digital presence, these stories indicate we should carefully decide just how we manage our online life.  They also nudge us to develop our relationship to new media / technology so that we keep up to date as they grows in influence.

‘Should I Stay, Or Should I Go?’

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John Lewis DAF LF

John Lewis DAF LF (Photo credit: kenjonbro)

Nothing is certain in the world of work these days.  Staff are hanging on to their jobs to see whether the economy picks up over the next couple of years.  They certainly aren’t chopping and changing jobwise (to try something new), as they might do in less harsh times.

The Guardian reports that in the commercial sector at least one bouyant employer, the John Lewis Partnership, is able to award 17% bonuses, reflecting the good year they have just enjoyed.  I wonder how many staff there are likely to have itchy feet and to be looking for other jobs?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2013/mar/07/john-lewis-bonus-17-percent-2012

Equally, in the legal field at least one employee is looking to spread their wings, the Guardian’s work-blog confirms.  The employee has been head hunted through a recruitment firm.  Admittedly there have been redundancies in their existing firm, so they may be motivated to move away from an uncertain atmosphere, even though it features a good salary, flexibility and enjoyment too.

The advice offered to the would-be escapee below the article is varied.  Some comments basically say ‘stay’, some suggest the employee ‘go’.

My contribution is near the foot of the page (see comment from RogerAD).  It is based on:

–  the coaching adage that people are more motivated to move toward what they want, rather than away from what they don’t want.

– An element of Brian Tracy thinking too (the idea that successful people plan their lives and attain the goals they focus on).

– A bit of personal curiousity, as I also wondered to what extent the job-change  reflected the escapee’s key work values (salary, flexibility, enjoyment).

What advice would you have offered?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/work-blog/2013/mar/08/take-new-job-or-stay-safe-role

Women Hold Up Half The Sky

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Christine Lagarde, Managing Director, Internat...

Christine Lagarde, Managing Director, International Monetary Fund (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

8 March is International Women’s Day.  The BBC News site has been subtle when integrating women-centred stories in each of its sections.  I spotted consideration of women’s issues in terms of:

Business

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-21704161

Education

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-21698522

Sport

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/olympics/21667560

and, sadly,  the cost of gender-based strife women face daily

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-21696469

 

Usually the focus of stories would be focused on individuals like

– International Monetary Fund chief Christine Lagarde

– former US Secretary of State Hillary Clinton

– or world beating Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling

How often are the individual stories put into the larger context of women’s lives?  What could be achieved if more people thought about the inter-connectedness of people’s lives?  Thinking about this topic, alongside other ‘What Ifs’, could make a difference for each of us http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-21069026

 

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Honourable Members?

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Palace-of-westminster-at-dawn

Palace-of-westminster-at-dawn (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

If the recent media coverage is accurate, women in the Palace of Westminster need to keep their wits about them.  Part of the story is that some of the older Members of Parliament have old fashioned or chauvinistic views.  The rest of the story is that they are a law to themselves.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2013/mar/02/oona-king-tessa-jowell-sexism-westminster

Holding the post of honourable, or right honourable, member puts you outside the reach of employment law apparently.  Misbehaviour becomes an issue for the Whips to address.  It seems that there is no Human Resources section to defer to either.

Coaching junior staff to confidently establish a professional set of boundaries for themselves, is probably quite important now.   Less harassment may result when there is a clear understanding of an indivdual’s boundaries,  and the consequences of crossing them.

Equally, coaching more senior colleagues to understand the damage they do to their organisation – if they misbehave – is definitely desirable.  Perhaps at the moment too many senior people think they can chance their luck, without consequences.

It should not matter if the person, allegedly, at fault is a Peer of the Realm, or a Cardinal in the Church in Scotland .  Making unwelcome advances to work colleagues is not acceptable.

‘What Do We Want…?’

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English: Lord Nat Wei, Government Adviser for ...

English: Lord Nat Wei, Government Adviser for Big Society (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have been volunteering, in different contexts, for more than a decade.  I do that to change the neighbourhood I live in, for the better.

Back in the old days making change happen used to involve pressing the state for action: ‘What do we want [fill in the blank]…When do we want it? Now!’

Times have changed and the state has aspirations to enable outcomes through the Big Society.  Power is in the being placed in the hands of communities, which notionally makes it easier for change to come about from the grass roots.

Now that the pressure on peoples’ discretionary time is great, and available resources are few, volunteering is a challenging activity.  I think having a clear volunteering goal is probably going to help one’s focus on delivery.

For instance this year I know that my voluntary actions are going to entail:

– working with others to ensure my apartment building is cleaner, safer and better maintained

– collaborating with residents to allocate charity funding to local projects in a fair and timely way

– chairing a diverse group of community stakeholders to influence policing priorities

– helping other volunteers to develop their capacity to produce event better results

Having clarity over those  areas means I can channel my energies accordingly.  I think the more narrowly defined one’s goal – as long as it is realistic – then the easier it is to attain.

On a national scale I really like the simplicity of the goal reached by one successful Welsh volunteer body.  Knowing that you are going to protect an area of rainforest ‘the size of Wales’ puts everything nicely into perspective.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-21618349

I am pretty glad though that I am not devoting time to the role of school governor.  Those post holders seem to be receiving criticism over the quality of their outputs from Sir Michael Wilshaw, who is head of the school inspection body Ofsted.

From what I remember of contacts with governors they are not glory seekers, just people dedicated to improving the standards at the local schools they work with.  How demoralising Sir Michael’s criticisms must seem.  Hopefully governor numbers won’t decline as a result of the feedback.  Difficult to see how that Big Society outcome can prosper in a negative climate.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/feb/27/governing-idea-school-leadership-editorial

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The Upside To Home Working

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Y from the Yahoo logo

Y from the Yahoo logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I wonder if Yahoo chief Marissa Mayer has looked carefully at the costs (as well as the benefits) of denying staff the opportunity of working from home in favour of office-based collaboration?

 

In my experience of working for an office-based team it was possible to get quite a lot done for the team, when working remotely from it.

 

It was necessary to focus on the specific tasks and outputs to be delivered whilst operating from home though.  The Guardian’s five golden rules for successful home working would have helped.

 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/shortcuts/2013/feb/26/working-from-home-five-golden-rules

 

The point Yahoo may be missing is that home working wasn’t an everyday event, but an infrequent privilege extended as a sign of the healthy upside in the emotional contract between employer and employee.  Employer trusts the employee to get the job done, even though the employee is not sitting in front of them chained to a desk.

 

What was the usual result after home working?

 

The employer got the timely outputs needed in the quantity required and to the appropriate quality standard.  The employee got to shape their life around their work and lower the environmental impact of their work by commuting less.  No dramas, no skiving and no downside involved.  In fact it seemed to me to be a fairly happy, efficient and productive arrangement for both sides.

 

If Yahoo was to ask me I would say their proposed change seems counter-productive.  Employees lose a privilege, gain a commute and wonder if their employer trusts them to deliver tasks at arms length.

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That’s What Friends Are For

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Goal Setting

Goal Setting (Photo credit: lululemon athletica)

If you were to picture yourself sitting in your rocking chair, in your twilight years, what would you imagine were the highlights of your life?  Could they include your:

–       Big detached house in the country?

–       Fleet of fancy cars?

–       CV chock full of high-flying jobs?

If so you might want to think again.  Research conducted by Dr Gregory Bonn, a lecturer in psychology at Monash University in Melbourne, Australia provides compelling evidence that ‘close and enduring relationships are considered central to life satisfaction’.  According to the coverage in the Independent newspaper, material achievements are not too high on the list of Things That Make You Happy.

 

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/money-cant-buy-you-the-good-life-8508265.html

 

Interestingly the survey findings also indicate that ‘Having a worthwhile career was rated as more important to a good life than having a successful one’.

 

There is a segue from the Independent story to one on the BBC news website.  It seems that the University of Chicago has researched the flip side of the ‘happy relationships equal happy life’ paradigm.  Their findings suggest that loneliness can lead to physical as well as psychological harm.

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-21517864

 

If that is sound information then it is timely, especially for the so-called ‘leftover’ women in China.  Their ambition and drive for early career success seems to have a downside.   According to BBC coverage, if these women mis-time their career peak they risk being viewed as too old for marriage.  The bad news is that over 25 may be ‘too old’!.

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-21320560

 

I wonder if these findings establish any useful goal setting principles?  One’s purpose in life fuels goal setting, so perhaps it is important that some goals relate strongly to building and maintaining healthy relationships.  These might take precedence over goals involving gathering material possessions.

 

That makes sense.  When goal setting we think about what we want to Be, then to Do and last of all, to Have.

 

Maybe the attachments to the key people in one’s life are more powerful and lasting than the links to physical possessions.

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Sign Of The Times

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self-esteem, groups and hate

self-esteem, groups and hate (Photo credit: Will Lion)

Blogging about personal development in a time of austerity is highlighting some powerful contrasts and connections.

On one hand there are young – and not so young – people who are motivated high achievers (like the former Olympian Rebecca Adlington or footballer Robbie Rogers I have recently blogged about) who are confident of their own ability to make choices which allow for self-development.

On the other hand there are people not in education employment or training (the so called Neets) or offenders like those documented by commercial television living in Her Majesty’s Prison Aylesbury.

 

http://www.bucksherald.co.uk/news/local-news/explosive-inside-look-at-aylesbury-s-most-dangerous-criminals-airs-tonight-1-4800380

 

Their lives and those of youth not (yet) involved in the criminal justice system are seemingly defined by low self- esteem, disengagement with / alienation from society, and perhaps adverse mental health outcomes.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-20947604

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-21141815

Either cohort could be supported to develop better outcomes for themselves and those their lives touch.  The question is who should have the majority interest in providing that support?

 

Should it be central government policy which highlights the need to resource those people, and which provides such support directly (so young people’s energies are channelled into social rather than anti-social activity)?

 

Or should local communities come together, to make the most of central government Big Society funds, using their skills to deliver change in the lives of the least fortunate neighbourhoods?

 

I have led a Community First panel for 12 months and I will be reflecting on my Big Society experience in coming posts.  Meanwhile I am aware of the pressures on the potential pool of volunteers for those sort of projects (people with the skills, confidence and desire to help make change happen).

 

Proposed cutbacks on numbers of civil servants in the Education department seem counterproductive too.  After all, they and their peers in other departments are part of the pool of potential volunteers for Big Society activity.

 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2013/feb/18/department-education-civil-service-strike

Obviously there are major questions about the best route by which to reduce the fiscal deficit and balance national spending.  However there’s a question mark against the wisdom of leaving some under supported people entirely to the operation of volunteerism (where individuals delivering those outcomes may be under pressure to produce high level outcomes while being a little under prepared to so).

 

Maybe there is work to be done to increase the capacity of the voluntary sector to deliver better quality outcomes.  Doing that first may reduce the potential for further drains on health, welfare, education, and criminal justice resources further down the line.

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All Change

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Chicago Fire Soccer Club

Chicago Fire Soccer Club (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There must be something in the air.  Having mentioned Sugar Ray Leonard in December – in the context of sportspeople leaving the competitive arena to pursue new challenges -there seem to be plenty of others doing the same thing.

 

Robbie Rogers has stepped away from his US club, Chicago Fire, to discover himself away from football (he also played for Leeds United).  Additionally he  acknowledged he is a gay man in the blog post about leaving the sport.  The two announcements are hopefully not inter-related.  There’s no reason football should be less able to meet the needs of lesbian, gay and bisexual players than other sports…is there? http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/21479520

 

Then there is the surprising phenomenon of former Olympic competitors signing on at the Jobcentre.   The BBC reports, former pentathlete Georgina Harland has a philosophical take on life after a sporting career.  She says:

 

“You have had this one goal for so long and never questioned it.  Then suddenly it’s not there anymore…You are used to aspiring to be, literally, the best in the world.  But you have to make compromises. What is success in the normal workplace and what does success mean to me?… You can find a job that will satisfy you. It may never be what it was like when you were competing, but you can find something that satisfies in a different way”

 

Unintentionally those observations are sound bits of advice for anyone going through a life transition, perhaps linked to redundancy or another major change of circumstances.  Find out what ‘success’ means for you and you are part way to uncovering what type of employment may provide it for you.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/olympics/21443649

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