Tag: Well-Being

3 Steps To A Happier Christmas And A More Authentic New Year

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Statue with head in hand

Christmas Needn’t Be A Headache

It’s less than a month away, but the Christmas To Do lists are already getting longer.

Have you ended up – again – with the Christmas Project role of organising the office meal / after work party / big family get together? You got bounced into your extra duties didn’t you?

Not to worry, we’ve all been there.

If you want to, you can change others’ perception of you as the go-to Good Girl / Nice Guy who makes everyone else’s life easier. There is scope to turn the head-in-hands sinking feeling of organising diaries / menus / Secret Santa into a positive task. One you are authentically able to deliver well, in a way that uses the support of the people around you.

What Is The Impact Of Not Asserting Yourself?

Remember, if you are grinning through gritted teeth there may be a consequence in strained nerves in later in December. The UK’s National Health Service even talks about the impact of Christmas on Divorce rates in January  It is better to assert yourself to help ensure you get more of what you want in the coming weeks.

Ready To Try A Little Assertion For Christmas?

This can seem a difficult step to take if you are not used to politely, but consistently, stating what you want from a situation. However it is a necessary step if you want to feel more authentically tuned in to your own agenda next year (i.e. able to choose what you want to do next, rather than feel you have to please others time and again at the cost of moving forward towards your own goals).

Your First Step

A first step to managing your stress levels is establishing your boundaries. Make it clear you are not taking this challenge forward on your own. Identify the development needs which can be met across the team if others’ time is freed up for specific tasks which will add to their skill set and get the Christmas project delivered on time.

Once you have your allies do the best you can with the support that is available to you and document the process for the benefit of whoever does the role next time (there are 3 further steps below)

Here Are Your Next 3 Good Practice Steps

If you do nothing else a bit of informal Christmas project planning helps you manage the various parts of your December life better and help others’ see you as more than the go-to person in their life:

  • Capture everything you need to achieve on your Christmas project plan, including the fun tasks (so that you can see the progress being made towards your outcome, which combats the sense of overwhelm)
  • Delegate as much as you can to your partner / family members / colleagues (so everyone can play their part using their skills and building new ones)
  • Schedule plenty of ‘you’ time (so you can unplug from the craziness for a while)

How Will You Use And Share This Information?

If this post has been helpful please feel free to use the Comment section to add your secrets to thriving at Christmas, so others can benefit from them. You can share your ideas on Twitter too @RogerD_Said so the conversation helps more stressed Christmas planners.

Goals 2014: How To Be #Mindful And Confident Before Tackling A Change #Goal

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Tai Chi Exercise

What New Challenge Will You Take This Week? Picture credit The Tai Chi Club on Morguefile

I’ve recently been posting on LinkedIn and elsewhere about the feel-good benefits of taking action. Action can mean getting an enterprise of the ground, or encouraging others to make effective use of your time

If you follow the links you will see the context for those posts is making the most of yourself in the world of work. However, in the real world work and life co-exist. Making any kind of change in one part of your life opens up the possibility of a positive outcome in the other.

Starting an exciting new work project adds spice to your social life. Getting people to respect your time at work increases your confidence generally. Having a reserve of confidence to draw on helps you prepare, step forward and change.

How Do You Know That You Are Ready To Change?

Being mindful about your inner state and your readiness to change something significant in your life involves knowing what is in both your head and your heart. Procrastinating about change goals is understandable Taking action on a change goal involves accepting the discomfort you will experience.

Starting a social or commercial enterprise involves making connections; sharing your ideas; overcoming problems; being resilient. It is not a head-based issue. Your heart is involved too. The big question is: How does the idea of changing your situation make you feel? What small, but important, step can you take to increase your confidence levels?

What’s Confidence Got To Do With It?

Like I said you need a reserve of confidence to call on to help you picture your success. You won’t take the first step and plan – let alone undertake – effective action without it. Some people are too low on reserves of confidence to make the first step. Their life goals are low priority items. Their goals lie low on the list, behind the day to day pressures of an agenda topped by paying the bills.

If those pressures persist for long enough they can contribute to health problems. Those problems can escalate to an extent that they become mental health issues (according to the Mental Health Foundation 1 in 4 of us will have a problem like this in the course of the year)

Tackling Mental Health

Great then to see that Sport England is directing £2m ($3.2m or 2.5m Euros) into improving the lives of people with mental health problems.

Their project director (a former boss of mine) Mike Diaper says:

There is compelling evidence that participation in sport and physical activity has a positive influence on mental wellbeing and mental illness. This includes enhancing day-to-day moods, reducing the impact of stress and enhancing self-esteem”.

Obviously there is a long way between under-confidence and serious health conditions like anxiety. I’m just glad some work is being done on these debilitating issues.

How Do You Ensure You Are Taking Good Care of Your Health?

What’s your secret for remaining healthy under the pressure of your personal and working life? If you are preparing to make a major change in your life how do you build up your energy reserves?

  • Is it by ensuring you eat healthily and sleep well?
  • Do you make time for your weekly mind and body work out of Tai Chi?
  • Is your main priority relaxing with your family over the weekend?

Share Your Secrets To Getting Stuff Done

In the pressured world in which we live it is good to know how people maintain their day to day balance. If you are ok sharing your story please add a comment below. You can continue the conversation on Twitter @RogerD_Said too.

Goals 2014: How To Keep From Being A Victim Of A #BadBoss

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Can You Spot The Bad Boss? Picture credit seemann at Morguefile

Can You Spot The Bad Boss? Picture credit seemann at Morguefile

Is your leadership making your colleagues sick? Probably not, if you are reading a web post about how to improve your performance. That means concepts like ‘authenticity’ and ‘values’ ring bells with you. Your goals are based in empathy. Your colleagues will be grateful for that.

Having an authentic set of core values means you communicate in a consistent way with your team and clients. You don’t fake it. Your actions show you treat others as you would be treated yourself. Maybe you can influence a Bad Boss you know to help raise productivity, by treating his / her colleagues better?

What Does It Feel Like To Have A Bad Boss?

Years back I experienced BBS (Bad Boss Syndrome) courtesy of a supervisor who used sarcasm, blame shifting and setting team members against one another as a management strategy.

Working for that colleague made Friday evenings a time to celebrate. It also made Sunday evenings a time for regret. I wasn’t the only team member whose job-satisfaction and productivity dropped. Morale wasn’t a metric that interested the Boss. Luckily I was able to move to another job when a reorganisation took place. Some people, sadly, get stuck in situations like this.

How Do You Keep From Being A Victim Of Bad Bosses?

Stay rested; Stay connected to your network; stay optimistic. A good night’s sleep helps maintain your energy levels. Your professional network helps you maintain perspective about your situation. Optimism reminds you that you are located in a situation caused by your Boss, not by you.

I just read about some workplace research in the Washington Post that describes the symptoms caused by the bad boss. I also found an item posted on LinkedIn outlining possible ways to manage the feelings caused by BBS. Good to know that if your boss could be making you sick there is light at the end of the tunnel, since you can learn How successful people handle toxic people . Both articles are worth a few minutes of your time.

Which Questions Help You Start To Combat BBS?

Here are 3 questions to ask yourself if the symptoms of BBS are starting to ring bells with you:

  • How do you wish to be treated by your supervisor in the workplace (if you are a supervisor how do colleagues rate your style)?
  • What is the effect on your productivity of the treatment you receive right now?
  • What action will you take this week to improve the treatment you receive and to become more productive?

Want To Share Your Story With Others?

I’d be very interested to know what actions people have taken, in the past, to improve their situation where their supervisor was harming their productivity. Feel free to share your stories in the comment section, or on Twitter @RogerD_Said

Goals 2014: How Will You Keep Developing Your #Leadership Skills Next Week?

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What Connections Do Leaders And Managers Inspire?

What Connections Do Leaders And Managers Inspire?

Are you content to leave tackling your leadership goals until the New Year? Or are you ready to spend 5 minutes today planning your next step towards self-development?

What Happens When Leaders Build On Their Strengths?

If you are motivated to take action to achieve improvement here are some interesting trends from a US study of leaders’ self-improvement results:

  • Leaders can measure their performance gains, when they take action on the goal of developing their strengths.

 

  • More than 70% of those leaders who focused on building strengths felt they had improved their overall effectiveness

 

  • Nearly 60% of those strength builders feeling their improvement positively impacted their organisation

The article from which I’ve taken these data was written by Behavioural Statistician Joseph Folkman and is published online by Forbes magazine.

What More Could Leaders Do?

I think it would also be valuable to see how the people who directly report to those leaders view the ‘After’ picture. Also other stakeholders might have valuable views on what the leader’s post-improvement results look like. Do those groups feel more connected to their leadership figure after they have developed, compared to before the change occurred?

The biggest ask would involve leaders applying themselves consistently to the areas in which they are not strong. After all, it is relatively straightforward to take action to build on your strengths. Taking these actions involves going with the flow and doing the things that feel nice and rewarding.

How Challenging Is It To Go Against The Flow?

The real challenge – which involves working against the flow – means acting on goals which involve deep, authentic, growth work. These are the areas where resistance is strongest. These areas touch deep seated fears and are the ones where the knot in the gut usually gets in the way.

That hard work pays off, over time. There are real rewards in overcoming that resistance. Rewards for self, colleagues, and clients. There is a sweetness to those development gains too.

What Does A Mix Of Goals Look Like?

It is a challenge to go full on after hard to reach self-development gains. I remember one of my coaching clients felt much better tackling a mix of goals when she decided where she wanted to be in 12 months, then:

  • Focused on developing her empathic skills (to serve her colleagues and clients better meantimes)

and

  • Prioritised being more assertive (so that she could have a more effective working relationship with her supervisor during her personal development phase).

She was understandably pleased with the results she achieved, over time, by combining straightforward and hard to reach goals.

Which Strength Building and Challenge Goals Will You Act On?

Please use the Comment section here to share your stories of pursuing your goals. Let your colleagues and friends know that goal setting isn’t time consuming and that effective support makes the difference, whether you are in the US, UK, EU or further afield.  Your success will inspire plenty of people who need a nudge to get going.

(Tweet me @RogerD_Said and I will continue the conversation there too).

Goals 2014: 4 Steps To Get The Job Opportunities You Deserve

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Why Are You The Ideal Employee?

Why Are You The Ideal Employee?

Is one of your weekend tasks completing a job application? You may need to rethink your approach if previous applications did not generate interview invitations.

Stay resilient and keep applying. You will get the offer of an interview in time.  There are steps you can take to represent yourself authentically when applying for posts.  Those steps will take you closer to your goal.

Remember, an employer has a recruitment goal  which is to hire people like you.  People who have the right combination of positive attitude, experience, skills, and confidence.  Those qualities add value to their teams.  You are explaining why you offer the ideal combination of attitude and experience.

Here are 3 strategies to help you represent yourself well and move toward your ideal job.

Increase The Potential For Getting Shortlisted For Interview

Check to ensure that you are demonstrating that you are a very close fit to the employer’s ‘Must Have’ criteria. Are you drawing on your paid and voluntary experiences to show your skills off fully?

  • Take time to ensure your covering letter echoes the language that the advertiser has used.
  • Repackage your Resume / CV for each application, to highlight the skills and experience which you have built up in the sequence the employer is looking for.  Make sure it makes you closely resemble the ideal interview candidate.
  • Remember, if you are copying and pasting your information into an online form make time to check for typos and changing grammar.
  • Also leave time before the deadline for a final check before pressing send. Trying to rush to produce the application right up to the deadline can be fatal. It increases the potential for errors to creep in. Worse yet, it means you are caught in a crisis if you have computer or broadband problems at the eleventh hour.

Give A Good Account Of Yourself At Your Interview

It is all about you. Not the team in which you worked previously.  What did you do?  How did you make a difference?  Use lots of self -focused language.  I did X in situation Y and the positive effect was Z (from which I learned that…).

  • The employer wants someone whose skills are a good fit; who can confidently deal with familiar and novel situations; and fit in with her existing team. How many examples of fitting in and team work does your life story contain?

Manage The Outcome Of Your Interview

If you have stood out from the other interviewees you may be offered the job. Congratulations!  Do your best work to sail through the probationary period and become a valuable team member.

If you didn’t appear to be the best person for the job you will get told that you haven’t been successful.

  • You should be offered some feedback, if not politely ask for some. You are interested in your development after all, so knowing how to be better in your next interview is a smart move.
  • If the organisation won’t provide any you have learned something about their attitude to people. If they do give you feedback take it on board and create an action plan to address any developmental points. Then take action to help yourself.

What Will You Do Differently Now?

If this information has helped you identify the action you need to take please share this post with someone who would find it useful. Please use the Comment section, or social media – my details are below – to add your voice to the conversation.

 

My Twitter feed is @rogerd_said

I’m On Facebook and Google+ too.

If you prefer you can use LinkedIn to View Roger Dennison’s profile

Goals 2014: 3 Questions To Help You Find Your #Purpose Or #Calling This Autumn

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Coffee Psychology Graphic

Image From Filtered Magazine: You Can Find Your Calling And Purpose During Your Coffee Break

When was the last time you sat down with friends and talked deeply about the connection between the life you are leading professionally and personally, and your self-fulfilment goals?

If it has been a while it might be a good time to review things.  As the days are shortening, and Autumn is approaching, here are some thoughts to help you consider your purpose and calling (perhaps during your coffee break).

Where Do You Get Your Inspiration?

It definitely helps to have fresh inspiration on board courtesy of speakers at a London College of Spirituality event, Kathleen O’Hara and Rasheed Ogunlaru Perhaps learning about the achievements of explorers, scientists, inventors and writers at an Open House London Event is good for self-reflection too. Whatever the motivation it is amazing how much insight a Regular sized Mocha can offer.  Filtered Magazine could be onto something, where their illustration relates types of coffee swallowed to our psychological states.  Or maybe it’s just the Caffeine.

3 Questions On Your Life’s Purpose or Calling

With the aid of coffee and carbs 3 of us sat down to reflect.  We figured there are 3 major questions in life:

  • How do you know what you are called to do with your life?
  • What path can you follow once you understand yourself?
  • Is there a key quality someone needs to succeed whether they are 18 or 48 years old?

How Do Our 3 Answers Compare To Yours?

Here are 3 answers to those ‘purpose’ questions: what answers would you give?

  • Your Calling depends on your values. What are the essentials you require from your life and what ethical actions will you take to get them?
  • Your Path echoes a new favourite quote from the late Arthur Ashe (Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.) in other words make the best of your current situation, drawing on what resources you have available as a result of the choices that have already occurred in your life
  • The must-have Quality for the 21st century has to be Resilience : that quality (or ones close to it) come into play when: a) Your Client wants more outputs in less time b) Your Boss says your work quality must improve c) Your Significant other lets you know they think you are working too hard.

Over to you: what answers would you give to the Calling / Path / Essential Quality questions?

What Do You Feel About Your Calling?

These are a deep series of questions, so well done for going through them. Here are the final points to consider.

How many marks out of 10 does your current role score when you consider this statement:

‘My current role is precisely what I am called to do’

(10 = Strongly Agree; 5 = Neither Agree or Disagree; 1 = Strongly Disagree).

Want To Keep The Conversation Going?

What do you feel about the score you gave your role? What, if anything, will you do to change that score?  Feel free to share your responses in the comment section below.

You can also Tweet me @RogerD_Said to develop this dialogue.  Please share the post with someone who may benefit from reading it. In that way we will keep this important conversation growing.

Goals 2014: 3 Questions To Inspire Your #PersonalDevelopment Actions

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You Can Act Without Perfect Preparation

You Can Act Without Perfect Preparation

I’ve had this Arthur Ashe quote in my head since I heard it in the acceptance speech  the US football player Michael Sam gave recently, when receiving an award for courage.  The quote suggests you can take action right now, if you believe you can.

How can you use the relationship between confidence and action when achieving authenticity?

When is your right time to confidently take the action to experience your life more authentically?

I think authenticity, confidence / courage and action inter-relate.  This inter-relationship even came up when friends and I were speaking over Sunday lunch recently about pursuing professional or personal goals.

The view around the lunch table was that confident people take steps to move forward, so that there is more of a smooth flow to their professional and personal lives.   We recognised that at times in the past we hadn’t necessarily taken action for a number of reasons, including:

  • Competing pressures on our time
  • Needing to feel more confident or courageous before we could succeed
  • Surrendering to external resistance keeping us from changing

Do any of those factors ring bells with you?  The questions below may be helpful if so.  This is territory I started to explore in a post I wrote in June 2012.  There I was asking about the results you would get if you asked for what you wanted.

Bottom line.  You have to feel confident to ask for what you want.  In the same way you need confidence to know that you will succeed before you take meaningful action.  The outcome of your action – the reward for your courage – is greater authenticity.

3 Questions to inspire you to take personal development action

Here are the 3 questions you might want to work on and use as inspiration tomorrow, when you take action:

  • How much better will your life be in 12 months’ time if you start to take action to address your main personal improvement goal tomorrow?
  • How much easier will your actions seem if you have the on-going support of your spouse / boss / best friend?
  • What will you feel like in 12 months’ time if you have done nothing to tackle the goal you know in your heart is your number 1 priority?

Over to you

By all means have a conversation with family / colleagues / friends about the actions you will take to get what you want.  I’d love to hear what you have planned.  You can let me know how you get on via the Contact form, or you can find me on Twitter @RogerD_said

There are more ideas relating to your work and life goals in the Archive section here and on Facebook and Google+ too.  Or if you are a Linkedin user you can visit View Roger Dennison’s profile and learn more there.

Goals 2014: What Is The Secret To Achieving Your #LifeGoals ?

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Setting And Reviewing Goals Does Not Take Long

Taking Action To Set And Review Your Goal Does Not Take Long

Back in January I created a post featuring these questions about your workplace happiness.  In particular I asked you to focus on these points:

  • How important is your work compared to your family or social life?
  • How happy does it make you feel?
  • Do you have a clear goal about what you want to happen within your life this year?
  • What will you feel like when you accomplish your goal?

The Secret Is Regularly Taking Action

The secret to achieving your goals is to regularly take action to move in the direction you have identified.  As long as you act in a way that is consistent with your values, you will authentically progress toward what you want.

Simply thinking about what you want won’t achieve much.  It is action which gets you flowing smoothly towards that outcome.  If you have 20 minutes here is an interesting TED talk by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi on the concept of Flow

How Much Time Will You Make For Your Goals This Summer?

As summer is here you can take action to make some time away from work to create, or review, your life goals and to plan when you will take further action to move forward.  How much time will be enough for you?

What Other Actions Can You Take To Achieve Your Goals?

Feel free to have a conversation about this topic with your colleagues.  I’d be interested to know what priority you give to goal setting.  You can find me on Twitter @RogerD_said

There are more ideas relating to actions you can take to address your work, and life, goals in the Archive section here and on Facebook and Google+ too.  Or if you are a Linkedin user you can visit more insights into these areas when you View Roger Dennison’s profile

Goals 2014: How Does Your #MentalBaggage Make You Feel?

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What Are You Carrying That You Do Not Need

What Baggage Are You Carrying?

Pretty soon you and your loved ones will be heading away from work for a few weeks rest and relaxation.  This is your time to take a breath; pack your bags and then get away from the stresses of the 9 to 5.

Here’s a question to work on as you go through your pre-departure check-list.  Aside from the sunscreen, sandals and spending money, what will your mental baggage weigh?

What Does Your Mental Baggage Do To You?

Although you are preparing to get away from it all, do the negatives which you will carry with you actually feel like a burden, which will affect your leadership and management goals when you get home?  Those burdens or limiting beliefs might include:

  • Your inability to fix your problematic relationship with a key colleague
  • Your belief that your career and your values are out of step
  • Your self-criticism which means you aren’t good enough to try something new

Might you have more success and be unburdened if your skills, values and actions were in alignment?

When Will You Take Action On Your Goal?

If you chose to start tackling your goal, with coaching support, you could be experiencing a more authentic and satisfying life in weeks.  That’s true whether ‘home’ for you is the UK, the US, the EU or further afield.

Why not get in touch, via the Contact option above, and start a new journey towards a more authentic life.  All you have to lose is your baggage.

Want To Share Your Thoughts On Personal Development?

Start a discussion about the themes in the post by all means.  I’d love to hear what you and your colleagues think on Twitter @RogerD_said

There are more comment-worthy ideas, relating to your work and life goals, in the Archive section here and on Facebook and Google+ too.  Or if you are a Linkedin user you can View Roger Dennison’s profile

Goals 2014: What Is The Two Word Secret To More #JobSatisfaction ?

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What Is The Value Of Positive Feedback?

What Is The Value Of Positive Feedback?

Thank you to everyone who is following me on social media; discussing the ideas I’m putting out there for discussion; or simply reading these words.

I was thinking about the value of those two words a few days ago.  I received some great customer care and told the assistant how much I appreciated the time she had taken to resolve my query and hand me the paper work for my records.

What Is The Value Of Saying Thank You?

How often do you offer authentic, positive, feedback when you experience great customer care?  Organisational leaders are recognising that employee recognition matters.  In areas like customer care ‘good news’ stories are morale boosting opportunities to highlight business values in action

How Will You Make It Clear You Are Good At What You Do?

Some people are comfortable quietly getting on with their work.  They are never going to blow their own trumpet.  Would you be content to have that low a profile?

If your answer is ‘No’, would you consider setting yourself a goal concerning your customer service?

  • Could you ask your customers to send a quick email to your manager, if you provide outstanding service?
  • Perhaps they could comment favourably on your company website?
  • Is there another way that would allow your manager to see how much of an asset you are to the team?

When Will You Make Time To Take Action?

Feel free to have a conversation about this topic with your colleagues.  When will you make the first step to action this goal?   I’d be interested to know what your plans are.  You can find me on Twitter @RogerD_said

There are more ideas relating to your work and life goals in the Archive section here and on Facebook and Google+ too.  Or if you are a Linkedin user you can visit View Roger Dennison’s profile