6 Ways To Help The Man In The Mirror

Start Change With The Man In The Mirror - Picture From Jusben From Morguefile.com

Start Change With The Man In The Mirror – Picture From Jusben From Morguefile.com

True story.

One Thursday morning commuting on the train, I picked up a copy of Shortlist magazine left on the seat next to me. Flicking through the pages of the latest shiny, products I was expecting I got emotionally ambushed by Andrew Dickens’ deeply personal story about depression* (there’s a link below).

I couldn’t finish reading this unexpected article in public. It struck a chord. It was too emotional for a Men’s lifestyle magazine. 

Bottom line: I didn’t want to be upset in front of other people.

Men and boys face unbelievable pressure

Fast forward to now and according to the Standard newspaper almost half the men in London feel like crying once a month* (more than anywhere else in the country).

The emotional challenge isn’t a London thing. It is universal. There is just something challenging about being a 21st Century man.

The Movember Foundation understands that. The Foundation is a global charity committed to men living happier, healthier and longer lives. You might be aware of their November campaign to encourage men to grow mustaches for the cause.

Interviewed by The Standard their UK director Sarah Coghlan said

Men and boys face unbelievable pressure to live up an archaic stereotype of what it means to be a man, and in the process they neglect their own mental and physical health.

Release The Pressure

It is ok to feel what you are feeling.

In fact neglecting your health has bad consequences. I have coached guys who have been tearful with frustration about their lack of career progress, or lack of life purpose. Who wants to feel drained by the demands of their working day?

Paying attention to health related goals makes more sense. You gain confidence. You feel better. You start performing better. Your work improves. Everyone is happier.

The first step is taking stock of what is going on in your life.

6 Ways To Start Helping The Man In The Mirror

  • Ask yourself what is the source of the burden you are carrying
  • How does the burden disrupt your time at home and at work
  • List the worst-case consequences if you continue to do nothing about it
  • Write down all the results that could come your way if you take action
  • Decide who is the best person to talk to about tackling that goal (doctor, therapist, coach)
  • Get in touch with that person and start making your life better

Want To Start Changing The Way You Experience Work?

If you are ready to start improving your life you can click the link, leave your contact details and download a FREE report. It will help you pay attention to your self improvement goals and get you connected to someone who can help you move forward.  

https://experienceyourlife.coachesconsole.com/

References*

http://bit.ly/Shortlist_Andrew_Dickens_Depression_One_Mans_Struggle

http://bit.ly/The_Standard_Hannah_Al_Othman_Half_Of_London_Men_Feel_Like_Crying_Once_A_Month

 

How To Be Creative And Go Boldly Through Life

How Do You Link Boldness And Creativity?

How Do You Link Boldness And Creativity?

Leonard Nimoy was much more than ‘the actor who played Mr Spock in the Star Trek franchise’. He inspired thousands of engineers, scientists and artists over several decades too.

Those people wanted to do more than live the 9 to 5 life. They wanted to chase bigger and bolder ideas. That’s quite a legacy.

Here are a couple of lessons I’ve taken away from his story.

Do You Have Unlikely Goals?

Apparently Mr Nimoy senior didn’t want his son to be an actor. Leonard decided acting was something he was going to do, however unlikely that goal seemed.

He trained, he persevered, set and reached incredible goals as an

– Iconic Actor

– Successful Director

– Celebrated Photographer

Do You Want To Confront Your Fears?

With roles on several 1960s TV show Leonard Nimoy was offered the choice of playing a half-human, half-alien character on an innovative science-fiction piece pitched as Wagon Train in space. He spent time weighing up his choices.

Part of his reasoning process, which led him to finally say ‘Yes’ involved him asking and answering the question

“Will you choose to do something which scares you”?

He made the decision to live boldly of course, which was the right decision as it turns out.

When The President Appreciates You  

Leonard Nimoy’s achievements have had a profound impact on others – when Rolling Stone Obituary quotes the President of The United States, who has  acknowledged you as a

“…lifelong lover of the arts and humanities, a supporter of the sciences, [someone] generous with his talent and his time…”

you have probably made a significant cultural impact (here’s the article http://bit.ly/Rolling_Stone_Covers_Tributes_To_Leonard_Nimoy from which you can measure the man’s achievement)

What Will You Take From Leonard Nimoy’s Story?

Here’s a YouTube 25 minute conversation where Leonard Nimoy discusses his life and career with Pharrell Williams – it is full of details you probably didn’t know about the man and his many careers – it indicates how courage played a part in his creative process

http://bit.ly/Leonard_Nimoy_Pharrell_Williams

Living Life Boldly Involves Making A Contribution

There’s a line from the interview which strikes me as important.

In living a full life and achieving success in several fields Leonard Nimoy was concerned with

“Making A Contribution…Having Something To Offer”

His focus was the service he provided to others. He wasn’t hung up with being a TV or Film Star.

His contribution helped inspire science-minded people to pursue their careers. He even got the nerdy, outsider, kids like me feel they had something to contribute. That’s impressive.

What Triggers Your Inspiration?

Thanks to Star Trek re-runs Leonard Nimoy will be challenging people to do more with their lives forever.

What – or who – is it that inspires you when you are ready to get going on a new project? How bold or courageous do you need to feel to get going?

I’d be interested to see what you think in the Comments below, or have your say on Twitter @RogerD_Said

Thanks for reading this far. If you enjoyed this post feel free to share it with others – Trekkers or not – who might appreciate reading it too.

Is Improving Your Work Your 2014 Goal? Here Are Your 3 Key Actions To Take In The Next Week

Was your week a mix of Highs and Lows?  Was one low your boss telling you that your
performance ‘must improve’?  If the answer is ‘Yes’ here are 3 actions to help you move forward in the next week, towards your performance improvement goal:

  • Review the evidence of your previously Successful, or Excellent, reports.  This helps you top up your self-esteem.  Positive customer feedback has always reflected the quality of your work.  Cultivate it from this point
    Your Improvement Strategy Will Move You Forward

    Your Improvement Strategy Will Move You Forward

    onwards.  Also plan how you will add to your key strengths, respect your values and earn more feedback.  Remember your boss’s view is probably changeable.  If not your psychological contract with your team may have ended.  Other bosses are out there.

  • Record the specifics of your next steps strategy, so you identify an immediate, positive, action you will take to start moving forward.  Call this Phase One of your plan.  Make it something constructive, that you know you can do well.  If that is not possible within your present role find another role that allows you to reassert your ability to do good work.  Outline what you want to accomplish in Phase Two of your plan, at the same time.
  • Recruit a skilled ally, ideally an experienced coach who: understands the significance of your work goals; recognises the importance of your values; will remain supportive as your performance rises and you start to fill in the detail of your Phase Two outline.

You are now good to go for Phase One of your plan.  Take these 3 constructive steps and your week ahead will be focused on improvement and positivity.

Good luck and feel free to get in touch with me to talk about your coaching needs, beyond the #MustImprove stage:  use the Contact tab above or visit me on Facebook  and Google+ too.

Goals 2014: 2 Life Planning Questions For People Over 45

Were you between 15 years old and your mid 20s in 1975?  If you were around that age in the UK you might remember your first trip to your local – newly opened – McDonalds franchise.  You might have seen the newly released Steven Spielberg film ‘Jaws’ earlier in the year  too.  The impact of the UK economy’s 24% annual inflation rate was pretty new too; so was the trend of nearly a million people out of work.

There is quite a contrast between the UK in the mid 1970s and the country nearly 40 years later.  As this week’s Budget will reveal the economy is showing signs of resurgence after the financial crisis of 2008, which triggered a global recession.  The question is what does that change in the economy mean for your personal circumstances?

How does your age affect your life plan?

Have you reached your mid 60s with the degree of financial security you planned for?  Based on current life expectancy  projections, for British 65 year olds, will you be comfortably off for your final 21 years (if you are a woman) and 18.5 years (if you are a man)?  Put another way, how comfortable are you with the gap between what you expected from your working life and what you have got?

I’m asking as unexpected insecurity has come up as an issue with previous coaching clients.  Those in their 40s are thinking ahead, to put a strategy in place to make their future more secure.  Those in their 50s are taking action to make their next decade more satisfying.

It is unsettling to pursue one career track, or follow a portfolio career, and not arrive at the destination you had planned for.

How has the global recession affected someone in their 60s (and what lessons are there for those in their 40s and 50s?) 

Follow the link in the Tweet below to learn more about actions to help secure your future.  Then give yourself a score for your answers to the two bullet point questions that follow the Tweet (10 out of 10 means you are totally satisfied with your situation, zero means you are totally dissatisfied, 5 means you are neither satisfied nor dissatisfied)

  • How satisfied are you with the way you curate your presence across your online profiles?
  • How content are you with your approach to sharing useful information and contributing to the development of your online connections?

Total up your score adding both answers together.  If your total score is 11, or less, what steps will you take this month to improve the way you present yourself online?  How does your self-marketing strategy fit into your wider financial security goals?

What are your other self-development goals this spring?  Why not dip into the Archives at www.experienceyourlife.me for some inspiration.  There are more ideas On Facebook and Google+ too

Goals 2014: How Will You Inspire Change After International Women’s Day?

Logo For International Women's Day

Logo For International Women’s Day – More information from http://www.internationalwomensday.com

Do you know that next Saturday, 8 March, is International Women’s Day (IWD)?  You can get a range of IWD information here  and learn how this themed day has been influencing the lives of women and men since 1911.

It’s amazing to think – at the time I write these words – that there are several hundred IWD events scheduled to take place in the UK.  There are 1000s more in the United States, Canada, Australia and countries right round the world.

These events will all be highlighting this year’s theme of Inspiring Change.  Which of the events near you will you be following, or drawing to the attention of a woman you care about?

Stay tuned.  I’ll be blogging this week about ideas which you may want to consider when you work on your goals after IWD.

Goals 2014: 5 Personal Questions To Improve Your Work & Family Life

This is the second of two posts about last week’s very first Work & Family Show at Excel, London.

Work & Family Show 2014 - Panel Discussion on the Language of Success

Work & Family Show 2014 – Panel Discussion on the Language of Success

Here’s a question.  Which one of your improvement goals has taken priority this year?  Is it improving some aspect of your work?  How about getting more from your personal or family life?

Whatever your priority you could have gained knowledge in any of these areas had you been at the Show.  The sponsor My Family Care and their partners put on practical, personal, and plenary sessions looking at the advice, inspirations and solutions that contribute to peoples’ ideal life balance.

From what I saw the audience of women on Maternity Leave, or taking a Career Break; people searching for their next job after redundancy and those looking to work flexibly, really engaged with the sessions on offer.

More details of the Work and Family event are set out here .  You can follow the feedback from the show on Twitter using the hashtag #wfshow

Personal Questions For Your Goal Setting Sessions

Meanwhile, here are the five personal insights I noted from the range of ideas offered by speakers last week.  I have added some bullet point questions for you, which you can use with your coach as you set your own goals:

On average Men are likely to apply for a promotion if they meet 60% of the recruitment criteria:

  • What more could you do to add to your skills, so you comfortably reach 70% of the recruitment criteria?

Women are likely to hold off applying for a promotion until they feel they meet 90% of the recruitment criteria:

  • What could you do to add to your skills, so you are confident you have 70% of the recruitment criteria?

You help yourself perform better by making time each day to check out your state of mind and take action, where necessary, to change limiting beliefs:

  • What is your strategy for taking stock of your inner state?

Making time to manage your personal / professional relationships in a considerate way makes your life easier:

  • How empathic are you when you manage your key relationships?

When you need to give feedback make time to pause, and comment on the behaviour rather than the individual’s personality:

  • Thinking about your previous bosses, whose feedback technique would you wish to emulate and why?

Feel free to check out my Archive section for more inspiration.  There are further ideas On Facebook and Google+ too.  Do feedback about your progress, via the Contact page here, or on Twitter @RogerD_said

Goals 2014: 5 Practical Questions To Improve Your Work & Family Life

Work & Family Show 2014 - Interviews: How To Shine
Work & Family Show 2014 – Interviews: How To Shine

 

This is the first of two posts about last week’s very first Work & Family Show at Excel, London.

Is one of your goals improving some aspect of your work, personal or family life?  Then you would have been in good company at the Show, had you joined the audience of women on Maternity Leave, or taking a Career Break; people searching for their next job after redundancy and those looking to work flexibly.

I thought this was a positive event, at which sponsors My Family Care and their partners put on practical, personal, and plenary sessions looking at the advice, inspirations and solutions that contribute to peoples’ ideal life balance.

More details of the Work and Family event are set out here .  You can follow the feedback from the show on Twitter using the hashtag #wfshow

Practical points for your goal setting sessions

Meanwhile, here are the five practical insights I noted from the range of ideas offered by speakers last Friday.  I have added some bullet point questions for you, which you can use as a starting point when you work on your coaching goals:

In an employers’ market it is important to show in all your self-marketing materials how you will add value to your new employer’s organisation:

  • What else will you do, from now on, to market your unique skill set to prospective employers?

Social media makes it easier than ever to research prospective employers and their values:

  • What is your strategy for finding out which firms you would like to work for?

Using social media, on your own behalf, leaves a footprint which potential employers can follow:

  • How do you go about managing your own social media presence?

In the present jobs climate gaps in a CV are acceptable to enlightened employers, if the gaps can be explained:

  • What more will you do to ensure any gaps in your CV are accounted for, so your CV content presents your best self?

There are some items on your To Do list which can be delegated to others:

  • What criteria do you use to work out which tasks to delegate and to whom?

Remember to watch out for the second post, with personal pointers you can use in your job search.  Feel free to check out my Archive section for more inspiration.  There are further ideas On Facebook and Google+ too

Your Feedback is always welcome, you can reach me via the Contact page here or on Twitter @RogerD_said