How Does Your Community Benefit When You Act Like A #GoodWolf ?

How Does Your Good Wolf Inspire Others?

How Does Your Good Wolf Inspire Others? – picture credit to Brigwer from Morguefile.com

How often do you ‘click’ with someone and find a way to support them in their goals?

I am lucky to be connected to several professional development networks. That means I have the chance to support others quite often. It feels good to pay it forward.

You have to be in the right frame of mind yourself to help someone else out. It is easier in some ways to be focused on your own agenda. Easier isn’t always best though.

Here’s a story about helping someone focus, inspired by Cherokee Nation culture.

 

The One You Feed

A grandfather and grandson are seated in Nature, deep in conversation.

The young man is troubled.

He tells his grandfather about the feelings of anger, envy and self-pity he has.

His grandfather tells him about the two wolves we all have within us.

The wolves are always circling each other, battling for supremacy.

One wolf is mournful, holding on to bad feelings from the past.

The other wolf is bright, joyful, loving and empathic.

Puzzled, the young man asks.

 

“If they are always there within us, which wolf wins the battle?

 

The grandfather paused.

His reply?

 

“It depends on the one you feed.

 

Contributing To Your Community

I know from my own experience that feeding the wrong wolf makes life miserable.

Spending too much time looking at set-backs leaves you stuck. It makes you self-centred. It weighs you down. It means you aren’t aware of others’ needs and don’t meet them.

I first experienced coaching (as a client) in the early 2000s. I had ended up overwhelmed by a project I was involved with. The experience of being coached made the process of returning to normal (being part of a team, producing great results) much easier.

 

What did I learn from the experience?

Being connected to your community is good. Being of service to that community is better. Taking positive action to help the community move forward is best.

 

How Can You Help The Communities To Which You Belong?

Tapping into your good wolf mind-set means you are better placed to help others. Your optimism inspires others to work optimistically because you understand others’ lives.

That kind of Empathy comes easily to good wolves. You can find out more about Empathy by clicking the link below.

http://bit.ly/BBC_Can_Empathy_Be_Taught_Roman_Krznaric

 

Want To Keep This Conversation Going?

Thank you for dropping by, reading this post, following, sharing and taking action that helps you experience a more fulfilling life.

I’d love to know how you change your thoughts when they get stuck in the negative zone. What’s your secret? How do you motivate your team / community to act positively and produce better results?

Leave your comments below. Your feedback is bound to be valuable to others in the community.

Don’t forget to share this post with the wolves you know.

 

 

Tackle Your #CoachingGoals – Top 5 Ideas For Engaging With Potential Clients

Support Personal Development And Spread Happiness

Support Personal Development And Spread Happiness

It is always good to spend time continuing professional development. Gaining more skills means you provide a better service to others, while living out your values. What could be better than helping to solve someone’s problem so they get their smile back?

Do You Know Someone Losing Sleep Over Their Problems?

Obviously I am proud to know so many people in professions which help others. All those others need, is a willingness to take action. Anything is possible if they are ready to put an end to their sleepless nights.

Which is why it is handy to have real / virtual access to the community of helpful people. People who coach; people who are NLP practitioners; women and men who are therapists.

How Do You Start Conversations Which Help Solve Problems?

Any time I get together with these helpers the conversation returns to the basic theme. What approaches work well when building powerful and authentic problem-solving connections?

In the last 7 days I have gained a bunch of insight from others’ marketing wisdom. Some of it has been completely new. Some insights put a fresh perspective on information I already had.

Here are some headlines you might find useful if your profession helps others perform better.

Top 5 Ideas For Engaging With Potential Clients

  • Allow your outreach plan to signpost your next step. That’s the step which makes more potential clients aware of the benefits they gain by knowing more about your work
  • The simple step after just knowing about you? Keep providing service. Go deeper so people really like and trust the benefits you offer
  • Use the client’s language so they savour the sound / sight / taste / feel / smell of their exciting future
  • When you offer to help solve their problem pause. That creates a space for the other person to decide how to respond
  • Practice self-care. Be mindful about making the best impression you can while building the relationship and offering service. Accept that the other person could still say ‘No’. Don’t take it to heart if they do (you might be able to signpost them to someone else, which is still a good service)

Caring But Not Too Much

The last point is the tricky one.

Obviously you care about explaining the benefits of your service to the other person. You want them to connect the dots, so it is obvious that you can solve their problem.

Don’t do what I did after attending one corporate meeting. I thought it would be plain sailing once I sat down with the decision makers (and submitted a follow up proposal).

When I did not receive a response I emailed the decision makers. I waited.

No response.

Finally I called their virtual assistant.

She took a message and promised to pass it on. The silence which followed triggered a light bulb above my head.

The organisation was not into my proposal. They used a passive silence to get that message cross.

Lesson learned, I moved on.

Giving Credit For These Insights

  • Hat tip to Clive Maxheath of the Men’s Action Project (full disclosure I Co-organises a MeetUp group for coaches with Clive) you can follow @Coachpreneurs on Twitter too. Details of Clive’s MAP work are available via the following link http://www.meetup.com/TheMAP/
  • I also enjoyed learning more about marketing from a great a range of speakers led by Carole Bozkurt and Ann Marie Mayling at the Blueprint Practice – you can visit them here http://blueprintpractice.com/

What is your favourite strategy for engaging clients?

Go ahead and use the comment section to share your favourite strategy. How do you build your presence in an authentic way? How assertive do you need to be when you engage with clients (I’m leading a workshop on assertion on 5 July so the issue is very topical)?

I’m looking forward to reading your replies. The community reading your comments will be grateful for your wisdom too.

Finally, remember to share this post if you have found it useful, so others can benefit from reading it.

 

Performance Improvement: What’s Empathy Got To Do With It?

Empathy Beats Confrontation In Performance Management - picture credit Pexels.com

Empathy Beats Confrontation In Performance Management – picture credit Pexels.com

Spring is the season for reporting on performance. It seems to me empathy is the key to influencing others to help us with our performance goals during the coming year.

Drawing on an existing stock of empathy could make the difference to you, if you break out in a sweat at the thought of approaching a good team member who is suddenly producing sub-par work.

Leaders Set The Tone For Their Team

If you have already established an empathic / supportive relationship with your team you have an advantage. The door is already partly open to difficult conversations.

You can now use the stock of trust you have built up to go into potentially uncomfortable territory when speaking with team members (you might want to start being more empathic if you are starting from a low base).

3 Useful Performance Questions

From personal experience performance conversations involve being a bit vulnerable yourself. You aren’t looking to beat anyone up. You are helping yourself by accepting your feelings of discomfort and focusing on helping someone perform better.

Here are 3 discussion openers which might help you get your colleague engaged in finding solutions, as part of a constructive performance improvement conversation

  • It has been a while since our last review, how are things with you workwise?
  • I’ve noticed that X seems to be happening with your work, that’s not like you. Can you say what’s happening there?
  • What more can I do to help you produce different results?

Open questions prompt the listener to think of a full response, since a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answer doesn’t fit. Empathy, Thought and Action should feed into your conversation and the ones which follow to help your colleague improve their results.

Feel Free To Continue This Conversation And Share It With Friends

Why not use the Comment section to share the approaches have you used to successfully support performance improvement.

How did you help your member of staff produce good or excellent results, after a temporary downturn?

If you were the one being helped how did your boss’s approach help you move forward? Did they offer to help you, or take a confrontational approach?

For an overview of the effects on performance of feeling overwhelmed at work please follow this link

 

http://www.experienceenterprisesltd.co.uk/

How To Shape Your Future With The Support of A #Coach

A Step Towards Greater Job Satisfaction

A Step Towards Greater Job Satisfaction

The numbers speak for themselves. If the commuters in the picture are UK workers then 2014 survey results* showed 6 out of 10 are motivated and engaged with their jobs.

The remaining 4 out of 10 aren’t producing the same quality of results for their clients; are having strained relationships with colleagues and are feeling overwhelmed when they are at home.

Where Do You Show Up In Those Statistics?

Interested in finding out how coaching support could make you even more productive and engaged with your work (or really help you out of the 4 in 10 bracket)?

Then you might want to invest 30 minutes in a Google Hangout on Tuesday 14 April at 8pm in which the spotlight will fall on the effectiveness of coaching.

The Hangout takes place here on https://plus.google.com/+ExperienceyourlifeMe

It will also be available on the related YouTube channel.

Any Questions?

Please use the Comment section here to raise specific questions about the Hangout’s theme, or Tweet me @RogerD_Said with your queries. I’ll do my best to include your feedback in the Hangout or to use it in future blog posts.

*(the survey results I mentioned are shown in this link http://bit.ly/HR_Magazine_ORC_Employee_Engagement )

 

How To Be Creative And Go Boldly Through Life

How Do You Link Boldness And Creativity?

How Do You Link Boldness And Creativity?

Leonard Nimoy was much more than ‘the actor who played Mr Spock in the Star Trek franchise’. He inspired thousands of engineers, scientists and artists over several decades too.

Those people wanted to do more than live the 9 to 5 life. They wanted to chase bigger and bolder ideas. That’s quite a legacy.

Here are a couple of lessons I’ve taken away from his story.

Do You Have Unlikely Goals?

Apparently Mr Nimoy senior didn’t want his son to be an actor. Leonard decided acting was something he was going to do, however unlikely that goal seemed.

He trained, he persevered, set and reached incredible goals as an

– Iconic Actor

– Successful Director

– Celebrated Photographer

Do You Want To Confront Your Fears?

With roles on several 1960s TV show Leonard Nimoy was offered the choice of playing a half-human, half-alien character on an innovative science-fiction piece pitched as Wagon Train in space. He spent time weighing up his choices.

Part of his reasoning process, which led him to finally say ‘Yes’ involved him asking and answering the question

“Will you choose to do something which scares you”?

He made the decision to live boldly of course, which was the right decision as it turns out.

When The President Appreciates You  

Leonard Nimoy’s achievements have had a profound impact on others – when Rolling Stone Obituary quotes the President of The United States, who has  acknowledged you as a

“…lifelong lover of the arts and humanities, a supporter of the sciences, [someone] generous with his talent and his time…”

you have probably made a significant cultural impact (here’s the article http://bit.ly/Rolling_Stone_Covers_Tributes_To_Leonard_Nimoy from which you can measure the man’s achievement)

What Will You Take From Leonard Nimoy’s Story?

Here’s a YouTube 25 minute conversation where Leonard Nimoy discusses his life and career with Pharrell Williams – it is full of details you probably didn’t know about the man and his many careers – it indicates how courage played a part in his creative process

http://bit.ly/Leonard_Nimoy_Pharrell_Williams

Living Life Boldly Involves Making A Contribution

There’s a line from the interview which strikes me as important.

In living a full life and achieving success in several fields Leonard Nimoy was concerned with

“Making A Contribution…Having Something To Offer”

His focus was the service he provided to others. He wasn’t hung up with being a TV or Film Star.

His contribution helped inspire science-minded people to pursue their careers. He even got the nerdy, outsider, kids like me feel they had something to contribute. That’s impressive.

What Triggers Your Inspiration?

Thanks to Star Trek re-runs Leonard Nimoy will be challenging people to do more with their lives forever.

What – or who – is it that inspires you when you are ready to get going on a new project? How bold or courageous do you need to feel to get going?

I’d be interested to see what you think in the Comments below, or have your say on Twitter @RogerD_Said

Thanks for reading this far. If you enjoyed this post feel free to share it with others – Trekkers or not – who might appreciate reading it too.

3 Benefits You Get From Inspiring And Motivating #Content

Progress Involves Setting Goals Taking Action And Achieving Great Results

Progress Involves Setting Goals Taking Action And Achieving Great Results

It was great to start a conversation about goals, actions and achievements at a workshop last week.

Speaking with a roomful of people – on 28 January – about how to #SetGoalsAndTakeAction caused me to think about the benefits you get from pursuing your dreams.

If you are in the right frame of mind to change your life you can have a brilliant year. Positive thinking will open your mind to the key messages from inspiring live speakers, or writers appearing across social media.

If you are on the lookout for inspiring, motivating and action-oriented content you might want to search out material offering these outcomes:

Effective Content Offers These 3 Outcomes

  • It Solves Your Specific Problem – How does the story being told connect directly to your situation? People like to learn how to resolve their situation by following the example of someone who has been there already. How can you apply the lessons on offer?

 

  • It Suggests An Alternative View – Does the material give evidence that challenges your views? It might be worth considering what is being said, since it could influence you to take a fresh look at a familiar topic. Your creativity may be triggered, highlighting a new way forward.

 

  • It Stirs You To Take Action – Does the speech get you fired up so that you want to move forward beyond your limiting beliefs? If it is persuasive you might feel compelled to take a beneficial action straightaway.

What Can You Do To Promote Useful Content?

If you see a presentation or a post which combines those 3 elements you will probably want to add your comment, or share your experience with other people in your network, so they can benefit from it too.

Your commentary or authentic word of mouth recommendation is very valuable and can make an idea get the attention it deserves.

In other words your Facebook ‘Like’ or Twitter ReTweet can spread the word far and wide.

What Is Your Next Step?

Thank you for reading this post. Would you like to help continue this conversation?

What is the most effective content you have encountered recently? What made it work so well for you? Say a few words in the Comment section below or Tweet @RogerD_Said

If you found this post useful feel free to share it with others. I’m on YouTube so you can suggest topics for me to comment on http://bit.ly/Experience_Your_Life_Intro  Either way keep an eye out for future posts that help you achieve a more successful 2015.

3 Ways You Can Do More Than You Thought Possible By Setting Goals And Taking Action

 

Where Will Your Next Step Take You? - Photo Credit smswigart via Morguefile.com

Where Will Your Next Step Take You? – Photo Credit smswigart via Morguefile.com

If you read billboards, or advertising on public transport, you will already know this is your year to:

  • Meet someone amazing
  • Achieve your ambition
  • See the difference you make

No pressure then if your work or life goals are smaller in scale. How often does the big vision you have of a personal project stay in your head? Taking the first steps towards turning your mental vision into the real-world outcome you want can be hard.

If your vision is a bit more modest you could take inspiration from the historic achievement of Tommy Caldwell and Kevin Jorgeson who scaled El Capitan this week. They have been working toward that outcome for years. Naturally they believe Teamwork and Persistence pay off in the end.

Here’s a link http://bit.ly/Inspiratonal_El_Capitan to the BBC coverage of the story. For me this is Kevin’s killer quote

He said the experience of scaling a peak by a route no one had taken before

“recalibrates your perception of what you can do and what’s possible”

3 Ways People Can Do More Than They Thought Possible

In the real world people get by with what they can achieve. With a little inspiration they can achieve more.

Understand the nature of the person whose problem you are trying to solve – I was on the receiving end of an email a while ago from someone with whom I was collaborating on a project.

Their email was a bit of a rant over several topics on the edge of our project. Luckily I read and remembered something from Dale Carnegie’s classic book How To Win Friends And Influence People.

Carnegie quotes what the founder of the car making company Henry Ford said about understanding others:

“If there is any one secret of success it lies in the ability to ‘get’ the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”

With that thought as my inspiration I made time to make a phone call. I really listened to what my friend was saying. I understood that the rant was actually about fears that their voice was generally going unheard.

A phone call and some deep listening took the heat out of the situation. By understanding what was underneath the rant I was able to move the relationship forward. Good news for the project too, since there were no serious disagreements festering under the surface.

Practice to improve your skills – most people don’t have special powers. Initially we make do with our natural abilities. Then we grow. There are ways to work with what you have got to improve.

The late Arthur Ashe is someone I quote often. He was action oriented. The quote I will use in a goal-setting workshop later in January goes like this:

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can”.

When was the last time everything was 100% perfect in your life? All of the elements are not perfect in the project I just mentioned. But they can be made to work together with some effort. Is waiting for the perfect moment keeping you from achieving more success?

Collaborate with others who can help you improve your performance

Henry Ford also believed that

“The accumulation of great fortunes calls for POWER and POWER is acquired through highly organised and intelligently directed specialist knowledge. But that knowledge does not necessarily have to be in the possession of the man who accumulates the fortune”.

In other words, you can spend time trying to be a specialist in several areas. Or you can offer your skills to a group of people who have other skills you can draw on. Who will you work with this week?

What Will You Do This Week To Redefine The Word ‘Possible’?

Hopefully you are inspired to start making a difference in your own life. The Pareto Principle suggests 80% of your results can come from just 20% of your efforts. It is surprising where small initial steps, in line with your values, can take you. What ‘impossible’ outcome will you achieve this month?

As I mentioned above, I will discuss these ideas with people coming to my goal setting workshop on 28 January – details here http://bit.ly/Set_Goals_Take_Action – so expect to hear more about the benefits of taking action over the coming weeks.

Meanwhile I would love to hear about what you are going to accomplish in 2015. Share your plans here in the comment section, on Twitter @RogerD_Said or have your say on LinkedIn if you would prefer.

3 Steps To A Happier Christmas And A More Authentic New Year

Statue with head in hand

Christmas Needn’t Be A Headache

It’s less than a month away, but the Christmas To Do lists are already getting longer.

Have you ended up – again – with the Christmas Project role of organising the office meal / after work party / big family get together? You got bounced into your extra duties didn’t you?

Not to worry, we’ve all been there.

If you want to, you can change others’ perception of you as the go-to Good Girl / Nice Guy who makes everyone else’s life easier. There is scope to turn the head-in-hands sinking feeling of organising diaries / menus / Secret Santa into a positive task. One you are authentically able to deliver well, in a way that uses the support of the people around you.

What Is The Impact Of Not Asserting Yourself?

Remember, if you are grinning through gritted teeth there may be a consequence in strained nerves in later in December. The UK’s National Health Service even talks about the impact of Christmas on Divorce rates in January  It is better to assert yourself to help ensure you get more of what you want in the coming weeks.

Ready To Try A Little Assertion For Christmas?

This can seem a difficult step to take if you are not used to politely, but consistently, stating what you want from a situation. However it is a necessary step if you want to feel more authentically tuned in to your own agenda next year (i.e. able to choose what you want to do next, rather than feel you have to please others time and again at the cost of moving forward towards your own goals).

Your First Step

A first step to managing your stress levels is establishing your boundaries. Make it clear you are not taking this challenge forward on your own. Identify the development needs which can be met across the team if others’ time is freed up for specific tasks which will add to their skill set and get the Christmas project delivered on time.

Once you have your allies do the best you can with the support that is available to you and document the process for the benefit of whoever does the role next time (there are 3 further steps below)

Here Are Your Next 3 Good Practice Steps

If you do nothing else a bit of informal Christmas project planning helps you manage the various parts of your December life better and help others’ see you as more than the go-to person in their life:

  • Capture everything you need to achieve on your Christmas project plan, including the fun tasks (so that you can see the progress being made towards your outcome, which combats the sense of overwhelm)
  • Delegate as much as you can to your partner / family members / colleagues (so everyone can play their part using their skills and building new ones)
  • Schedule plenty of ‘you’ time (so you can unplug from the craziness for a while)

How Will You Use And Share This Information?

If this post has been helpful please feel free to use the Comment section to add your secrets to thriving at Christmas, so others can benefit from them. You can share your ideas on Twitter too @RogerD_Said so the conversation helps more stressed Christmas planners.

#GEW – What’s Your Secret To Confident Public Speaking?

Speakers At The 2014 Work & Family Show

What Is Your Secret To Public Speaking?

Are you getting connected with the no-cost and low-cost events in the UK during Global Entrepreneurship Week ?

Hopefully your goal is to sample some of the Networking Sessions; Webinars and Presentations scheduled from now until 23 November. You will definitely be able to hear some inspiring ideas from some talented speakers in the next few days.

Any one of those learning opportunities might be the right one to give you clarity. They will help you see past the fog of options that you might pursue and focus on your next development goal.

What’s The Secret To Confident Public Speaking?

Have you ever wondered how some speakers seem to effortlessly get their points across?

Whether you are in the UK, US, the EU, or further afield I think the speakers you listen to will have 3 points in mind as they clear their throats and start speaking. They will be mindful of the need to:

  • Focus on meeting the information needs of you, the audience member
  • Present their message in a simple and straight forward way
  • Give you a summary and a call to action before they finish speaking

How Do These 3 Strategies Help Speakers Get Their Message Across?

  • Addressing the audience on their terms means the content is relevant and accessible, rather than too academic
  • Simplicity means you are more likely to remember the key message or stat the speaker referenced
  • Summarising the content underlines its importance and signals that there is more information on the key topic than the presentation could contain

These 3 strategies also naturally lead you and the rest of the audience to read an article online, subscribe to a Newsletter, or book onto a follow-up session if that is the final point the speaker mentions.

How Will You Share The Information You Gain During #GEW ?

Feel free to comment below – or on Twitter @RogerD_Said – on the learning you have undertaken and how you will apply inside or outside work. I’ll be sharing my GEW takeaways here and across social media during the week. Why not join the conversation?

 

Goals 2014: How To Be #Mindful And Confident Before Tackling A Change #Goal

Tai Chi Exercise

What New Challenge Will You Take This Week? Picture credit The Tai Chi Club on Morguefile

I’ve recently been posting on LinkedIn and elsewhere about the feel-good benefits of taking action. Action can mean getting an enterprise of the ground, or encouraging others to make effective use of your time

If you follow the links you will see the context for those posts is making the most of yourself in the world of work. However, in the real world work and life co-exist. Making any kind of change in one part of your life opens up the possibility of a positive outcome in the other.

Starting an exciting new work project adds spice to your social life. Getting people to respect your time at work increases your confidence generally. Having a reserve of confidence to draw on helps you prepare, step forward and change.

How Do You Know That You Are Ready To Change?

Being mindful about your inner state and your readiness to change something significant in your life involves knowing what is in both your head and your heart. Procrastinating about change goals is understandable Taking action on a change goal involves accepting the discomfort you will experience.

Starting a social or commercial enterprise involves making connections; sharing your ideas; overcoming problems; being resilient. It is not a head-based issue. Your heart is involved too. The big question is: How does the idea of changing your situation make you feel? What small, but important, step can you take to increase your confidence levels?

What’s Confidence Got To Do With It?

Like I said you need a reserve of confidence to call on to help you picture your success. You won’t take the first step and plan – let alone undertake – effective action without it. Some people are too low on reserves of confidence to make the first step. Their life goals are low priority items. Their goals lie low on the list, behind the day to day pressures of an agenda topped by paying the bills.

If those pressures persist for long enough they can contribute to health problems. Those problems can escalate to an extent that they become mental health issues (according to the Mental Health Foundation 1 in 4 of us will have a problem like this in the course of the year)

Tackling Mental Health

Great then to see that Sport England is directing £2m ($3.2m or 2.5m Euros) into improving the lives of people with mental health problems.

Their project director (a former boss of mine) Mike Diaper says:

There is compelling evidence that participation in sport and physical activity has a positive influence on mental wellbeing and mental illness. This includes enhancing day-to-day moods, reducing the impact of stress and enhancing self-esteem”.

Obviously there is a long way between under-confidence and serious health conditions like anxiety. I’m just glad some work is being done on these debilitating issues.

How Do You Ensure You Are Taking Good Care of Your Health?

What’s your secret for remaining healthy under the pressure of your personal and working life? If you are preparing to make a major change in your life how do you build up your energy reserves?

  • Is it by ensuring you eat healthily and sleep well?
  • Do you make time for your weekly mind and body work out of Tai Chi?
  • Is your main priority relaxing with your family over the weekend?

Share Your Secrets To Getting Stuff Done

In the pressured world in which we live it is good to know how people maintain their day to day balance. If you are ok sharing your story please add a comment below. You can continue the conversation on Twitter @RogerD_Said too.