Tag: Coaching

Trapped In A Golden Cage ?

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Gilded Cage

A Well Paid Job Or A Gilded Cage? (c) R Dennison September 2013

I’ve blogged before about the intriguing work-life issues which the Guardian newspaper features.  Here is one issue from last week, which is well worth a read.

http://www.theguardian.com/money/2013/sep/13/hard-work-time-off

The key points are these, he:

– seems keen to get off the work ‘treadmill’ and out of the gilded cage of a well-paid, but all consuming, job.

– is also clued in about the employment situation he wants for the future.

– values interesting work (with adequate downtime to maintain a social life & his personal relationship).

– has a job currently at right angles to his values.

It would be great to coach him, as he does some action planning.  He may want to decide when he wants his values to complement the other elements in his life.

Once those timings are clear he can get the support he needs to plan his steps to reach his destination.  The actions he takes from now on will help him reach his ideal situation, at a pace with which he is comfortable.

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Prime Numbers

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A Slower Pace At Mid-Life (c) R Dennison September 2013

A Slower Pace At Mid-Life (c) R Dennison September 2013

If you are 23 years of age your life may be coming together nicely in line with your life plan (although recent figures from the Office for National Statistics on young jobless people show an upward trend).  Nonetheless hopefully you will be gaining life experience through working or studying.  Perhaps you are settling into a steady relationship.  Fingers crossed you are enjoying the best days of your life.

Three decades later, at 53, you will still be in your prime: using your life experience; enjoying time with your partner and wider family; these could be the best days of your life for different reasons.  Time to stop and smell the roses?

According to the recent Benenden Health survey many people identify that as the point which middle age arrives.  The survey suggests there are downsides to this milestone (like losing touch with technology, youth culture and fashion).   With demographic changes the ageing members of society are also in the majority.

My experience of people in that age bracket is that they are well in tune with their inner wisdom.  That is reassuring and would be more so, if employers were more motivated to take on staff in their fifties.

From a coaching perspective it would be powerful to build on that idea by:

–          exploring a 50-something client’s attitude to reaching their mid-life point

–          establishing what they wanted to do as a first step towards an even better future

–          energising them to take that step and the ones which follow it

It would be wonderful to support clients ready to look into those topics, as they are now in the prime of their life.

https://www.benenden.co.uk/media-centre/study-reveals-changing-attitudes-to-%E2%80%98middle-age%E2%80%99/

A Healthy Balance

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One Portion Of Five A Day (c) R Dennison August 2013

One Portion Of Five A Day (c) R Dennison August 2013

It isn’t fair.  You work really hard, get the job you always wanted, start to enjoy your success and then your weight becomes an issue.

If you are David Cameron (photographed on holiday recently displaying a bit of middle aged spread) there will always be someone to remind you about your weight and the impact on your health.

All this in a climate in which: Central government promotes a healthy diet including five portions of fruits and vegetables per day; Birmingham council has promoted free sessions in their leisure facilities to encourage good health http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-22350807 ; the Royal College of Psychiatrists draws attention to the link between physical activity and positive mental health.

Since the consensus is that being healthy is a good thing, how might an average person use coaching support to form a health goal?

Well, any success goal will be more powerful if it is phrased in a positive and forward looking way.  So the plaintive cry of ‘I don’t want to drag around this middle aged spread’ will benefit from some further thought.

To help the coachee refine their goal the coach might ask some questions to establish what the personal benefits of ‘feeling healthier’ would be.  For instance: what has the coachee done already to change their situation; how many steps are there to get from where they are presently to the healthier state; what will friends and family be saying when the coachee reaches their healthier state.

Answering these questions starts to build up the background to the healthier state the coachee hankers after.  It also may start suggesting what powerful initial step he or she could take to move them in the right direction.

Ultimately, the coach can help the coachee clarify their situation.  Taking the action necessary to start to attain the goal is the coachee’s responsibility.

GROWing Pains

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English: An artist's depiction of the rat race...

English: An artist’s depiction of the rat race in reference to the work and life balance. See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_race Made with following images: http://www.openclipart.org/detail/75385 http://www.openclipart.org/detail/74137 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve received some useful performance coaching recently, to help me successfully suggest how the future contributions of a voluntary project group I belong to could be improved, improving my work-life balance.

It was good quality coaching, following the GROW – Goal, Reality, Options, and Will – formula championed by Sir John Whitmore amongst others.  It left me holding a clear set of actions for two, cards-on-the-table, meetings about the project.  I was going to influence greater participation from group at the first, grass roots meeting.  I was then going to suggest changes to the project vision in the second high-level event.

Of course reality doesn’t work like that.  In the first meeting no one wanted to participate more than they were already doing.  In the second meeting the request for help with the vision went up the line, and came firmly back down again.   The issue with the vision thing was ours to address, not anyone else’s.

Which goes to show that, where you can coach with improvements in your own performance in mind, you cannot expect your actions to produce specific outcomes in others.  After all, others haven’t been coached to ‘participate more’ or to ‘change their vision’.

All this possibly means my next coaching goal may have to be: ‘to successfully document my contribution to the outcomes of this project, so I can use my skills in another context  this year’.

(More information about Sir John Whitmore is  available on this website http://www.performanceconsultants.com/ )

#YourGoals : When Will You Ask For The Things That You Need?

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How Are You Feeling About Your 2014 Goals?

How Are You Feeling About Your 2014 Goals?

Do you have too little time to take a break from work? Or are you always too busy to make time for yourself (because you are prioritising someone else’s goals over your own)?

When you look at your answers to those questions, how happy are you with your reality? Are your authentic needs being met, at the same rate as the needs of those people around you?  How do your choices reflect your values; your standards of professional leadership; and your sense of personal fulfilment?

What Can You Do To Achieve An Authentic Balance In Your Life?

If you need to start adjusting your goals concerning that balance, there is a link in the next paragraph to a wonderfully simple TED* talk given by Dr Laura Trice, in February 2008.  Do yourself a favour and invest four minutes during your next break to look at what Laura has to say. I think you will be glad you did.

When Will You Set Yourself A Specific Goal To Ask For What You Actually Need?

Laura’s presentation shows that you can say thank you and ask for what you need By doing so you will motivate those around you to act differently.  You also deepen your authentic connections to others, at work and at home. Try it and see what happens. I’d love to hear how you get on (you can send me a tweet @RogerD_Said ).

There are more ideas relating to your work and life goals in the Archive section here and on Facebook and Google+ too.  Or if you are a Linkedin user you can visit View Roger Dennison’s profile

*In case you are unfamiliar with the acronym TED stands for Technology Entertainment Design.  It is a non-profit organisation devoted to ideas worth spreading.