Tag: Change

How To Start Turning Your Resolutions Into Reality

Leave a comment
What Are You Going To Achieve Today?

What Are You Going To Achieve Today?

As January is nearly over I thought I would ask this question:

How are your New Year Resolutions holding up?

New Year New Start?

With 11 clear months ahead it is easy to promise to live healthier; improve skills; follow different career options; manage money better.

Just making that promise to yourself is very easy.

The reality is (once you have written your goal down) there is a lot of hard work to do something, every day, to move closer to you what you want to achieve.

Where Do You Start?

I think knowing ‘why’ you want to improve your life is essential. Clarity about your why means you can picture what part of your life to pay attention to first.

For example, do you want to feel confident that you are managing your money so your situation will be more secure in future? Then taking action now will start to shape your reality in years to come.

Why Self-Awareness Really Matters

I deliberately opened this post with that Steve Jobs quote. His wording is perfect. The evidence from a workshop I ran a couple of days ago is also spot on.

We each know best what we want from our lives. Our inner voice says it best. Listen to it. Then get your next steps to line up with your priorities.

So, here’s another question: which part of your life will you start improving today?

Want To Get Clarity About Your Priorities?

If you want to get some free support to figure your priorities out follow the link below. Click the blue download button and the ABC tool will be sent to the email address you have selected.

https://experienceyourlife.coachesconsole.com/

Don’t forget to feedback here to let me know how you get on, or to ask questions about tackling your 2016 goals.

 

How To Take A Step Forward On #InternationalMensDay

Leave a comment

I had a really interesting conversation at a networking event earlier this week.

A woman guest and I were talking about the all the different ways it is possible to be of service and to ask for support so you can improve. Here’s a big generalisation that I brought to our discussion:

Women and men have different ideas about seeking support while they tackle their working day 

Plenty Of Men Aren’t Alpha Males

I went to a Boy’s school, so I grew up knowing a bit about bullying and that some guys held more of the cards than I did (and weren’t shy about pointing that out).

For every Alpha male out there you will find plenty of ordinary guys who are trying to do the best they can with what they have got.

Where many women will reach out and work effectively together to do more than ‘get by’, many men will try to go it alone, toughing it out in isolation, without showing any vulnerability.

Perhaps (at the extreme end of the scale) that is part of the reason why three times as many men take their own lives, as compared to women.

Men Can Take Action

Keeping calm and carrying on only highlights the distance some men maintain between their inner world and the effective support networks they can tap into. 

If there is truth in the men-go-it-alone generalisation then men will keep losing out. They would be better off making time to be thoughtful, working out how they need to grow and taking action to improve their situation. The alternative is spending more time working and less time:

  • paying attention to their inner growth goals
  • deciding where their boundaries lie, so they don’t end up shortchanging their family, friends and community
  • caring about the impact they have on the people they serve, including their clients, their colleagues and the wider community

Making A Difference

I hope that today (International Men’s Day) someone reading this post will decide to set themselves a goal and take an action which helps to improve their quality of life and benefit their community, team and family too.

Share this post with someone for whom it will make a difference today or tomorrow (and comment below if it resonates with you).

Finally, if you want FREE Downloadable information to start the improvement wheels turning for yourself, or a man in your life, please visit
https://experienceyourlife.coachesconsole.com/   

How To Start Achieving More By Reducing Your Stress Now

Leave a comment
2 brown bears fighting

Stress Can Affect Anyone – Picture From Clarita From Morguefile.com

According to the dictionary Stress is defined as mental emotional strain or tension linked to adverse circumstances. It has roots in different situations (personal struggles, work changes, relationship breakdown, money worries…) and it can feel overwhelming.

Yesterday, 4 November, was National Stress Awareness Day.

Like many people I’ve experienced stress myself, that experience has been useful when coaching people to overcome the impossible stress factors affecting their life.  Whatever feels overwhelming today won’t feel that way in a month, or a year.

It always seems impossible. Until it is done.
Nelson Mandela

So here are 3 reasons to take action to combat stress (and 1 step to take today to help move you forward).

First – Unresolved Stress Will Eventually Make You Ill

People aren’t designed to perform under stress in the long term. The rush of adrenaline you get from a stressful situation is meant to give you what you need to get out of the situation (if you face sudden danger – like coming across a bear or two – the surge will give you strength to leap out of harm’s way).

Remaining in fight or flight mode for too long floods your body with stress-related chemicals, meaning you are stuck in alert mode.

You won’t get enough sleep if you can’t lower your stress levels. Your diet will be all over the place, if you are snacking rather than eating nourishing meals and exercising away some of the tension around your shoulders.

You could even end up adding to pressures which contribute to depression.

Second -Stress Has An Impact On Your Relationships With Colleagues

If you struggle on with your burden you will stop being a team player, your Major Stressor will be at the front of your mind all day.

Your skills in making effective plans and paying attention to issues like effective leadership or management will suffer. 

You will be tough to live with as well.

Third – Stress Affects Your Goal Of Satisfying Your Customers

Preoccupied and distracted? You will find it harder to meet deadlines and you might compromise quality expectations to simply get the job done.

Worse than that your anxiety levels will rise, leaving you feeling like there is no time to research better alternatives to get the job done.

Step 1 – Recognise  Your Stressor And Take Action To Move On

Don’t try to tough the situation out (especially if you are a guy and you think ignoring the problem will be enough to get you through. It won’t)

Pay attention to figuring out what has caused this feeling of overwhelm. What has changed to make your day unmanageable?

Is the change permanent? What would it take to set up boundaries around the issue and call on support to make the situation bearable?

If you don’t want to take action because of the impact on your colleagues and your customers do it for the sake of your own health.

A Free Resource To Help You Move On From Stress

If you want some help to get started tackling your issue I have created a free downloadable resource available via this link – just fill in your name and email address then press the blue button to download the content. Start working through the material and producing better results.

https://experienceyourlife.coachesconsole.com/

Which 4 Letter Word Keeps You Moving Forward?

Leave a comment
Sunset Framed By Hands

What Will Motivate You Tomorrow? – Picture From Unsplash.com From Mayur Gala

The biopic documenting the life of Apple Founder Steve Jobs will be on screens soon. There are plenty of lessons to take from his innovative approach to life. I like the ones which flow from the memorable commencement speech he gave at Stanford University 10 years ago. That speech included these lines:

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

I think there are a couple of key ideas in this section of the speech

  • Your inner voice reflects your history, so it is best to pay attention to what it says
  • If you set boundaries for yourself you tune out noisy and unhelpful opinions
  • Caring about your self and others helps you move forward toward your goals

There is an extra bit of pathos in those words, since Steve Jobs knew his time was limited. He was living with cancer as he spoke (he died in October 2011).

Which 4 Letter Word Is More Important For You?

Is it Need? (meaning your wisdom and inner voice tell you something is necessary)?

  • You are driven to take action because your bills need to be paid
  • You need a more senior role in your organisation

Is it Love? (your overwhelming interest and pleasure in something)?

  • Your achievements come from rising to a fresh challenge
  • You are happiest producing an outcome that exceeds expectations

Will Need Or Love Drive You Forward Next Year?

Sometimes we can get so busy with life we lose sight of our driving force.

As far as I can tell Steve Jobs was driven by his love of a challenge and a desire to innovate. What’s true for you?

The people I have coached enjoy reconnecting with their motivation to be happier in themselves as well as more productive team players. Handy attributes to have, especially during tough economic times, when they focus is producing more, quicker and with less resources.

So, which principle – need or love – will help you with your goals next year? Use the Reply space to share your thinking with this community.

Extra Help On Offer

Would you appreciate some extra help working out which of your priorities to pay attention to? Then there is a free download available via this link (just fill in your name and email details then hit the blue button on the left hand side of the page)

https://experienceyourlife.coachesconsole.com/

 

Are You OK Mate? 3 Ways In Which Receiving Support Lifts Your Mood

Leave a comment
Road Signs Showing Men Working

Men At Work From Morguefile.com

Here is a sobering statistic.

This year 75% of people in the UK taking their own life will be men.

That is 3 men for every 1 woman.

Strong And Silent

Generally men in mid-life say ‘Yes’ if you ask ‘Are you OK?’

It is best to be strong and silent. Man up. Keep working. Or get wasted. Or withdraw.

Tears are best kept for football. That’s a crying shame.

Those 40 somethings are the ones at greater risk.

Potential To Grow

I am lucky enough to have supported some men working through their personal development goals (and received support myself).

It seems obvious that men’s actual inner state can be weighing them down while outwardly there are no signs of distress.

Behind the facade there can be turmoil. Turmoil does not lead directly to self harm. It doesn’t help though.

Life is better with fewer obstacles to growth. It is hard to believe that you can grow if you don’t feel like you can exercise leadership in your own life.

What Could Men Learn From Women?

As a rule women will look for and find support. Women talk about their stuff, where guys will keep their hurt to themselves.

Maybe part of masculinity is being open to help?

Benefits Of Being Listened To

Today seems like a good day to start talking about the benefits of receiving help if you are carrying a heavy burden.

In my experience being listened to deeply can be an intense experience. It changes things. It is a big victory for some guys to take action on their goals.

Here Are 3 Ways Guys Initially Benefit From Support

They experience

  • caring help as they set priorities
  • more confidence as they tackle priorities and move past long standing blockages
  • fewer burdens and more happiness

After their confidence increases it becomes easier to keep moving forward. Doors keep opening once they practice their action-based skills.

Share This Information

Thanks for reading this post. Comment below if these ideas have struck a chord with you. Use Twitter @RogerD_Said if you perfer.

If you are sharing the post with your followers on Twitter you can use the hashtag #RUOK to be included in the wider conversation.

Finally, follow this link for more information on 10 September: World Suicide Prevention Day

 

http://www.samaritans.org/wspd

How Does Your Community Benefit When You Act Like A #GoodWolf ?

Leave a comment
How Does Your Good Wolf Inspire Others?

How Does Your Good Wolf Inspire Others? – picture credit to Brigwer from Morguefile.com

How often do you ‘click’ with someone and find a way to support them in their goals?

I am lucky to be connected to several professional development networks. That means I have the chance to support others quite often. It feels good to pay it forward.

You have to be in the right frame of mind yourself to help someone else out. It is easier in some ways to be focused on your own agenda. Easier isn’t always best though.

Here’s a story about helping someone focus, inspired by Cherokee Nation culture.

 

The One You Feed

A grandfather and grandson are seated in Nature, deep in conversation.

The young man is troubled.

He tells his grandfather about the feelings of anger, envy and self-pity he has.

His grandfather tells him about the two wolves we all have within us.

The wolves are always circling each other, battling for supremacy.

One wolf is mournful, holding on to bad feelings from the past.

The other wolf is bright, joyful, loving and empathic.

Puzzled, the young man asks.

 

“If they are always there within us, which wolf wins the battle?

 

The grandfather paused.

His reply?

 

“It depends on the one you feed.

 

Contributing To Your Community

I know from my own experience that feeding the wrong wolf makes life miserable.

Spending too much time looking at set-backs leaves you stuck. It makes you self-centred. It weighs you down. It means you aren’t aware of others’ needs and don’t meet them.

I first experienced coaching (as a client) in the early 2000s. I had ended up overwhelmed by a project I was involved with. The experience of being coached made the process of returning to normal (being part of a team, producing great results) much easier.

 

What did I learn from the experience?

Being connected to your community is good. Being of service to that community is better. Taking positive action to help the community move forward is best.

 

How Can You Help The Communities To Which You Belong?

Tapping into your good wolf mind-set means you are better placed to help others. Your optimism inspires others to work optimistically because you understand others’ lives.

That kind of Empathy comes easily to good wolves. You can find out more about Empathy by clicking the link below.

http://bit.ly/BBC_Can_Empathy_Be_Taught_Roman_Krznaric

 

Want To Keep This Conversation Going?

Thank you for dropping by, reading this post, following, sharing and taking action that helps you experience a more fulfilling life.

I’d love to know how you change your thoughts when they get stuck in the negative zone. What’s your secret? How do you motivate your team / community to act positively and produce better results?

Leave your comments below. Your feedback is bound to be valuable to others in the community.

Don’t forget to share this post with the wolves you know.

 

 

3 Steps To Overcome Overwhelm By Embracing #Assertion #Leadership #Responsibility

Leave a comment
American Football

Overcoming Setbacks Is Part Of Life (Picture from GaborfromHungary from morguefile.com)

Any job can kick your butt.

If you get knocked down often enough you lose sight of your goals. Your results can nose dive. Your team spirit vanishes. You hate Sunday night (it reminds you of Monday morning). Welcome to survival mode.

If the situation continues for long enough it can have serious health implications too.

Next stop burn-out.

How Many Stressed Out People Are There In Great Britain?

You are far from alone if you have ever been so stressed out you needed time-off from work. According to Health and Safety Executive (HSE) data (1):

The total number of cases of work-related stress, depression or anxiety in 2013/14 was 487 000 (39%) out of a total of 1 241 000 cases for all work-related illnesses.

From personal experience I know the costs behind the HSE’s numbers. Those costs are measured in disruption to personal and family life; the impact on team outputs; the downturn in customer satisfaction.

It is the difference between enjoying life in 3D and enduring it in 2D. So what are the elements that help you start to overcome overwhelm?

Effective Leadership

Skilled and confident senior staff help to balance workloads and they practice realism when goal setting for their teams. They are people who value people just as much as spreadsheets.

These leaders create the safe space in which team members produce excellent results; manage risks and speak up about issues that affect results.

That communication is a regular part of the flow within the team. No one wants an unexpected and stress-filled adult-to-adult conversation to kick off; leaving a manager angry and their team member acting like an upset child.

Personal Responsibility

Responsibility starts with self-awareness. How does the team / organisation feel to you? How is it serving customers? How are your values represented? Is the work flowing freely or piling up on your desk?

I’ve found that people know when a situation ‘feels’ wrong. They are the ones having sleepless nights and stress-filled days.

Your self-awareness check will tell you whether: colleague relationships are also suffering; customer feedback shows that they aren’t getting what they expected; it is time to speak out.

Responsibility involves speaking out when these factors are present and reducing the flow of ideas and energy within the team. You can suggest how a change will improve relationships and boost customer satisfaction. Why keep good ideas to yourself?

Remember to have empathy for senior managers. They are always being pushed to produce more outputs, more quickly with less resources in their teams.

Assertive Communication

From experience, research and work with coaching clients there is value in communicating assertively.

Communicate your feelings positively. Don’t turn any negative feelings in on yourself.

After all, teams with good communication and engagement channels produce better results. That is a key part of the virtuous circle: research shows that being heard and valued is a core component of engagement, which is an important part of producing great results.

Workshop Ideas

I am leading a workshop in 7 days drawing on many of the ideas above.  The event takes place in a week on 5 July (2) and before then I will share some further insights.

As a start, take the opportunity to read Rebecca Knight’s Harvard Business Review article (3). It is worth your time.

What Is Your Solution To Overcoming Overwhelm And Combatting Workplace Stress?

Add your voice to this conversation in the comments below. Your views will help another leader or staff member dealing with these issues.

Please share this post with others, where that will help someone improve customer satisfaction; create a more supportive team and experience greater job satisfaction.

Resources

(1)

http://bit.ly/HSE_Stress_Related_Disorders_GB_2014

(2)

http://bit.ly/An_Assertiveness_And_Success_Workshop

(3)

http://bit.ly/HBR_Rebecca_Knight_How_To_Handle_Difficult_Workplace_Conversations

 

 

How To Be Creative And Go Boldly Through Life

Leave a comment
How Do You Link Boldness And Creativity?

How Do You Link Boldness And Creativity?

Leonard Nimoy was much more than ‘the actor who played Mr Spock in the Star Trek franchise’. He inspired thousands of engineers, scientists and artists over several decades too.

Those people wanted to do more than live the 9 to 5 life. They wanted to chase bigger and bolder ideas. That’s quite a legacy.

Here are a couple of lessons I’ve taken away from his story.

Do You Have Unlikely Goals?

Apparently Mr Nimoy senior didn’t want his son to be an actor. Leonard decided acting was something he was going to do, however unlikely that goal seemed.

He trained, he persevered, set and reached incredible goals as an

– Iconic Actor

– Successful Director

– Celebrated Photographer

Do You Want To Confront Your Fears?

With roles on several 1960s TV show Leonard Nimoy was offered the choice of playing a half-human, half-alien character on an innovative science-fiction piece pitched as Wagon Train in space. He spent time weighing up his choices.

Part of his reasoning process, which led him to finally say ‘Yes’ involved him asking and answering the question

“Will you choose to do something which scares you”?

He made the decision to live boldly of course, which was the right decision as it turns out.

When The President Appreciates You  

Leonard Nimoy’s achievements have had a profound impact on others – when Rolling Stone Obituary quotes the President of The United States, who has  acknowledged you as a

“…lifelong lover of the arts and humanities, a supporter of the sciences, [someone] generous with his talent and his time…”

you have probably made a significant cultural impact (here’s the article http://bit.ly/Rolling_Stone_Covers_Tributes_To_Leonard_Nimoy from which you can measure the man’s achievement)

What Will You Take From Leonard Nimoy’s Story?

Here’s a YouTube 25 minute conversation where Leonard Nimoy discusses his life and career with Pharrell Williams – it is full of details you probably didn’t know about the man and his many careers – it indicates how courage played a part in his creative process

http://bit.ly/Leonard_Nimoy_Pharrell_Williams

Living Life Boldly Involves Making A Contribution

There’s a line from the interview which strikes me as important.

In living a full life and achieving success in several fields Leonard Nimoy was concerned with

“Making A Contribution…Having Something To Offer”

His focus was the service he provided to others. He wasn’t hung up with being a TV or Film Star.

His contribution helped inspire science-minded people to pursue their careers. He even got the nerdy, outsider, kids like me feel they had something to contribute. That’s impressive.

What Triggers Your Inspiration?

Thanks to Star Trek re-runs Leonard Nimoy will be challenging people to do more with their lives forever.

What – or who – is it that inspires you when you are ready to get going on a new project? How bold or courageous do you need to feel to get going?

I’d be interested to see what you think in the Comments below, or have your say on Twitter @RogerD_Said

Thanks for reading this far. If you enjoyed this post feel free to share it with others – Trekkers or not – who might appreciate reading it too.

3 Benefits You Get From Inspiring And Motivating #Content

Leave a comment
Progress Involves Setting Goals Taking Action And Achieving Great Results

Progress Involves Setting Goals Taking Action And Achieving Great Results

It was great to start a conversation about goals, actions and achievements at a workshop last week.

Speaking with a roomful of people – on 28 January – about how to #SetGoalsAndTakeAction caused me to think about the benefits you get from pursuing your dreams.

If you are in the right frame of mind to change your life you can have a brilliant year. Positive thinking will open your mind to the key messages from inspiring live speakers, or writers appearing across social media.

If you are on the lookout for inspiring, motivating and action-oriented content you might want to search out material offering these outcomes:

Effective Content Offers These 3 Outcomes

  • It Solves Your Specific Problem – How does the story being told connect directly to your situation? People like to learn how to resolve their situation by following the example of someone who has been there already. How can you apply the lessons on offer?

 

  • It Suggests An Alternative View – Does the material give evidence that challenges your views? It might be worth considering what is being said, since it could influence you to take a fresh look at a familiar topic. Your creativity may be triggered, highlighting a new way forward.

 

  • It Stirs You To Take Action – Does the speech get you fired up so that you want to move forward beyond your limiting beliefs? If it is persuasive you might feel compelled to take a beneficial action straightaway.

What Can You Do To Promote Useful Content?

If you see a presentation or a post which combines those 3 elements you will probably want to add your comment, or share your experience with other people in your network, so they can benefit from it too.

Your commentary or authentic word of mouth recommendation is very valuable and can make an idea get the attention it deserves.

In other words your Facebook ‘Like’ or Twitter ReTweet can spread the word far and wide.

What Is Your Next Step?

Thank you for reading this post. Would you like to help continue this conversation?

What is the most effective content you have encountered recently? What made it work so well for you? Say a few words in the Comment section below or Tweet @RogerD_Said

If you found this post useful feel free to share it with others. I’m on YouTube so you can suggest topics for me to comment on http://bit.ly/Experience_Your_Life_Intro  Either way keep an eye out for future posts that help you achieve a more successful 2015.

3 Ways You Can Do More Than You Thought Possible By Setting Goals And Taking Action

Leave a comment

 

Where Will Your Next Step Take You? - Photo Credit smswigart via Morguefile.com

Where Will Your Next Step Take You? – Photo Credit smswigart via Morguefile.com

If you read billboards, or advertising on public transport, you will already know this is your year to:

  • Meet someone amazing
  • Achieve your ambition
  • See the difference you make

No pressure then if your work or life goals are smaller in scale. How often does the big vision you have of a personal project stay in your head? Taking the first steps towards turning your mental vision into the real-world outcome you want can be hard.

If your vision is a bit more modest you could take inspiration from the historic achievement of Tommy Caldwell and Kevin Jorgeson who scaled El Capitan this week. They have been working toward that outcome for years. Naturally they believe Teamwork and Persistence pay off in the end.

Here’s a link http://bit.ly/Inspiratonal_El_Capitan to the BBC coverage of the story. For me this is Kevin’s killer quote

He said the experience of scaling a peak by a route no one had taken before

“recalibrates your perception of what you can do and what’s possible”

3 Ways People Can Do More Than They Thought Possible

In the real world people get by with what they can achieve. With a little inspiration they can achieve more.

Understand the nature of the person whose problem you are trying to solve – I was on the receiving end of an email a while ago from someone with whom I was collaborating on a project.

Their email was a bit of a rant over several topics on the edge of our project. Luckily I read and remembered something from Dale Carnegie’s classic book How To Win Friends And Influence People.

Carnegie quotes what the founder of the car making company Henry Ford said about understanding others:

“If there is any one secret of success it lies in the ability to ‘get’ the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”

With that thought as my inspiration I made time to make a phone call. I really listened to what my friend was saying. I understood that the rant was actually about fears that their voice was generally going unheard.

A phone call and some deep listening took the heat out of the situation. By understanding what was underneath the rant I was able to move the relationship forward. Good news for the project too, since there were no serious disagreements festering under the surface.

Practice to improve your skills – most people don’t have special powers. Initially we make do with our natural abilities. Then we grow. There are ways to work with what you have got to improve.

The late Arthur Ashe is someone I quote often. He was action oriented. The quote I will use in a goal-setting workshop later in January goes like this:

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can”.

When was the last time everything was 100% perfect in your life? All of the elements are not perfect in the project I just mentioned. But they can be made to work together with some effort. Is waiting for the perfect moment keeping you from achieving more success?

Collaborate with others who can help you improve your performance –

Henry Ford also believed that

“The accumulation of great fortunes calls for POWER and POWER is acquired through highly organised and intelligently directed specialist knowledge. But that knowledge does not necessarily have to be in the possession of the man who accumulates the fortune”.

In other words, you can spend time trying to be a specialist in several areas. Or you can offer your skills to a group of people who have other skills you can draw on. Who will you work with this week?

What Will You Do This Week To Redefine The Word ‘Possible’?

Hopefully you are inspired to start making a difference in your own life. The Pareto Principle suggests 80% of your results can come from just 20% of your efforts. It is surprising where small initial steps, in line with your values, can take you. What ‘impossible’ outcome will you achieve this month?

As I mentioned above, I will discuss these ideas with people coming to my goal setting workshop on 28 January – details here http://bit.ly/Set_Goals_Take_Action – so expect to hear more about the benefits of taking action over the coming weeks.

Meanwhile I would love to hear about what you are going to accomplish in 2015. Share your plans here in the comment section, on Twitter @RogerD_Said or have your say on LinkedIn if you would prefer.