Tag: bully

Another Thought About Bullying

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A Glass Broken (c) R Dennison 2013

A Glass Broken (c) R Dennison 2013

I posted on the subject of bullying recently and co-incidentally the Guardian has just featured the topic too.  Their timely illustration (of the impact of workplace bullying) appears in the work advice section.  A reader’s letter recounts the difficulties linked to working with someone whose behaviour sometimes involves bullying.

 

Most people would recognise that typically the atmosphere in the workplace can combine both positives (interesting tasks) and negatives (challenging people).  Most people accept that sometimes their job can seem like the proverbial half-empty glass.

 

The Guardian’s advice-seeker has spent time trying to talk to a supervisor who can tackle the bullying issue.  The supervisor hasn’t grasped the situation successfully.  For the correspondent their glass is not half empty.  It is actually broken.

 

Reading between the lines the correspondent seems to have a narrow set of options.  Option one, they put up with the situation (more unhappiness for them and for the bully).  Option two, they start looking actively for other jobs they could be doing.

 

There is a crying need, I think, for coaching support to be made available to managers on this topic.  Bullying makes workplaces unproductive, creates stress and wastes time.  Managerial support would equip supervisors with the empathy, people skills and confidence to sense bullying is occurring, intervene firmly to end it and leave a climate of zero-tolerance afterward.  Hopefully this kind of learning is going to become commonplace in future and bully-friendly environments a thing of the past.

 

http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/work-blog/2013/may/10/how-deal-with-nightmarish-colleague

 

Bullying – No Joke

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Just Say No

Just Say No

Even if it has never been an issue for you, it is probably obvious that bullying is not funny at all.  The BBC reports on one factor possibly contributing to playground harassment, apparently University of Keele research suggests it is linked to the use of humour.

Correspondent Sean Coughlan reports the University’s Dr Claire Fox’s comments that:

“Children who use humour to make fun of themselves are at more risk of being bullied”

It is as if self-defeating jokes send a signal to the would-be school bully that their potential target is self-effacing and underneath that, vulnerable.

I wonder how many teachers (or managers in the workplace) rise promptly to the challenge of tackling this sensitive area ?

As a start a coach might ask about the wording of any mission statement that the school or workspace has regarding the zero tolerance for bullying.  Beyond that, there are a few additional coaching questions that spring to mind:

What resources does a leader possess to promote the confidence and self-esteem of the people around her ?

How comfortable is she with planning what to say in a conversation with the perceived aggressor, making it clear their behaviour is no laughing matter?

What approach has she outlined to support the person targeted, without over-doing her show of concern?

Once the person in charge recognises the sensitivities in the situation, tackling bullying and then raising confidence becomes possible.  It might be uncomfortable to open up the issues when they are still raw, but having a clear goal to work towards is the starting point in each case.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-22354326

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Strong Foundations

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James Dyson

James Dyson (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As you may recognise there is a theme of ‘confidence’ running through many of the posts this year.  That’s not a surprise, as I happen to think we all benefit from confidence, which stems from receiving empathic and effective parenting as young people .

It is certainly easy to recognise the quality of stick-to-it-ness that confident people and groups have.  As confidence coach Pam Lidford says,  deficits in this area only show up when there is a temporary loss of the ability to ‘take calculated risks’.  Pam’s site is well worth a look  by the way  www.PamLidford.com

In the context of confidence I blogged about G4S last year.  In hindsight the organisation was over-confident that their standard recruitment system could deliver exceptional results in hiring Olympic security staff before the 2012 Games.

I also mentioned Sir James Dyson, who displayed the appropriate level of confidence in knowing that his revolutionary vacuum cleaner design would, eventually, work.

I recently considered how the young mobile phone app designer, Nick D’Aloisio, has the right amount of it to have successfully created and sold on Summly before the age of 20.

So it is no surprise to note that University of Warwick research relates to confidence, in the context of the effects of overprotective parenting.   The research is based on the characteristics of children who are bullied and the BBC coverage notes Prof Dieter Wolke saying:

“Parenting that includes clear rules about behaviour while being supportive and emotionally warm is most likely to prevent victimisation.”

I wonder if more coaching for parents is a partial solution.  If parents can be supported in  encouraging their children to grow into confident young people (who feel adequately nurtured and emotionally secure) they may be less likely to grow up as bullies, or as those who face bullying.  Who knows, less anti social behaviour and aggression might result too.

An added pay off down the road would be a more resilient generation, better equipped to deal with the challenges that get thrown at them later in life.   If a fraction of that was the case it would be a good result simply from coaching interventions.

The BBC’s coverage of the story follows:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-22294974