What’s Next?

October 1, 2013Leave a comment

Choosing a Slice of Life (c) R Dennison October 2013

Would it be great to be 25 years old again? What if you could view the rest of your life as you did then, with every possibility still open to you?

Life would be the most delicious treat, a cake perhaps from which you have only taken one slice. You could then make positive changes whose impact would be felt over the next 50, or 60 years. The rest of your life could be incredibly memorable.

A query in the Guardian Work blog explores the territory of later life choices, from the vantage point of someone at the age of 55. He is trying to find his occupational passion to improve the final part of his working life.

It makes sense to ask ‘what do I want to do now’, since the latest Office for National Statistics figures show a man of 55 can expect to live for another 12 years. Life expectancy for women is slightly longer.

The question is, if you have the choice, what should you do with the remaining 20 per cent of your life?

You can see the below the line comments if you click the link below. My views are shown there (I’m Roger AD) and you can see them on Twitter too (where I am RogerD_said)

http://www.theguardian.com/money/work-blog/2013/sep/23/job-inspires-passion

Trapped In A Golden Cage ?

September 18, 2013September 18, 2013Leave a comment

A Well Paid Job Or A Gilded Cage? (c) R Dennison September 2013

I’ve blogged before about the intriguing work-life issues which the Guardian newspaper features. Here is one issue from last week, which is well worth a read.

http://www.theguardian.com/money/2013/sep/13/hard-work-time-off

The key points are these, he:

– seems keen to get off the work ‘treadmill’ and out of the gilded cage of a well-paid, but all consuming, job.

– is also clued in about the employment situation he wants for the future.

– values interesting work (with adequate downtime to maintain a social life & his personal relationship).

– has a job currently at right angles to his values.

It would be great to coach him, as he does some action planning. He may want to decide when he wants his values to complement the other elements in his life.

Once those timings are clear he can get the support he needs to plan his steps to reach his destination. The actions he takes from now on will help him reach his ideal situation, at a pace with which he is comfortable.

Overworked and undercontributing? (psychologytoday.com)

Value Added

September 11, 2013September 11, 2013Leave a comment

Best Ever Value (c) R Dennison September 2013

If you were to list three of your core values what would they be? Dedication? Reliability? Thoughtfulness perhaps? Now the tricky question, where did you acquire those values? How many of them came from your schooling?

This is a topical question. Research by Populus for the Jubilee Centre for Character and Values suggests 84% of parents sampled want school to instil key morals and values in their pupils.

I don’t know if there is a consensus as to what particular values should be transmitted. If a top three set of positive values could be taught (like the ones I mentioned in the first paragraph), they would be a powerful foundation on which to base some goal setting later in young peoples’ lives.

They might also lessen the number of young people who end up within the criminal justice system. A revealing feature story by BBC Home Affairs correspondent, Tom Symonds, touches on one young man’s value system which led him to commit a second knife-point robbery and end up in prison. The young man sounds like he considers his own needs first and foremost, when he says he did the robbery because “[he] was going shopping in the West End the next day and … wanted some money to spend”.

If in future that young man was motivated to identify more positive values he could be coached successfully. It would take time to build enough rapport to support him in action planning. The key achievement would be to help him identify a decisive action, to answer the question ‘what else’ does he want to do with his life after his sentence ends.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24022774

Prime Numbers

September 5, 2013Leave a comment

A Slower Pace At Mid-Life (c) R Dennison September 2013

If you are 23 years of age your life may be coming together nicely in line with your life plan (although recent figures from the Office for National Statistics on young jobless people show an upward trend). Nonetheless hopefully you will be gaining life experience through working or studying. Perhaps you are settling into a steady relationship. Fingers crossed you are enjoying the best days of your life.

Three decades later, at 53, you will still be in your prime: using your life experience; enjoying time with your partner and wider family; these could be the best days of your life for different reasons. Time to stop and smell the roses?

According to the recent Benenden Health survey many people identify that as the point which middle age arrives. The survey suggests there are downsides to this milestone (like losing touch with technology, youth culture and fashion). With demographic changes the ageing members of society are also in the majority.

My experience of people in that age bracket is that they are well in tune with their inner wisdom. That is reassuring and would be more so, if employers were more motivated to take on staff in their fifties.

From a coaching perspective it would be powerful to build on that idea by:

– exploring a 50-something client’s attitude to reaching their mid-life point

– establishing what they wanted to do as a first step towards an even better future

– energising them to take that step and the ones which follow it

It would be wonderful to support clients ready to look into those topics, as they are now in the prime of their life.

https://www.benenden.co.uk/media-centre/study-reveals-changing-attitudes-to-%E2%80%98middle-age%E2%80%99/

A Healthy Balance

August 24, 2013Leave a comment

One Portion Of Five A Day (c) R Dennison August 2013

It isn’t fair. You work really hard, get the job you always wanted, start to enjoy your success and then your weight becomes an issue.

If you are David Cameron (photographed on holiday recently displaying a bit of middle aged spread) there will always be someone to remind you about your weight and the impact on your health.

All this in a climate in which: Central government promotes a healthy diet including five portions of fruits and vegetables per day; Birmingham council has promoted free sessions in their leisure facilities to encourage good health http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-22350807 ; the Royal College of Psychiatrists draws attention to the link between physical activity and positive mental health.

Since the consensus is that being healthy is a good thing, how might an average person use coaching support to form a health goal?

Well, any success goal will be more powerful if it is phrased in a positive and forward looking way. So the plaintive cry of ‘I don’t want to drag around this middle aged spread’ will benefit from some further thought.

To help the coachee refine their goal the coach might ask some questions to establish what the personal benefits of ‘feeling healthier’ would be. For instance: what has the coachee done already to change their situation; how many steps are there to get from where they are presently to the healthier state; what will friends and family be saying when the coachee reaches their healthier state.

Answering these questions starts to build up the background to the healthier state the coachee hankers after. It also may start suggesting what powerful initial step he or she could take to move them in the right direction.

Ultimately, the coach can help the coachee clarify their situation. Taking the action necessary to start to attain the goal is the coachee’s responsibility.

Money Matters

August 19, 2013Leave a comment

Carrots Beat Sticks Every Time (c) R Dennison August 2013

It is that time of the year when thoughts turn to personal finance. It can seem tempting to beat oneself over the head about having an easy-come-easy-go attitude towards money.

I think a strategy that is more carrot than stick, helps. Keeping track – on a simple spread sheet – of sources of income; where expenditure goes; and where economies might be made, helps. Clarity could certainly supply answers to questions such as:

Will there be enough money in the bank after the family holiday to make the autumn and pre-Christmas period bearable?

How tempting does a pay-day loan look?

Is it time to start buying supermarket own brands instead of the costlier versions advertised on the television?

There’s definitely value in having a personal goal around the effective management of money. There’s also something positive in having control over personal finance, instead of feeling it has a strangle hold over you.

Graduate Employment: Against All Odds

August 6, 2013Leave a comment

More Than 80 to 1 Odds On Getting A Graduate Job (c) R Dennison August 2013

As some school students nervously await their exam results their elder graduate siblings are looking for work. The good news is that there are graduate level jobs available. The not so good news is that competition has never been more fierce.

As the BBC noted in a report from the Association of Graduate Recruiters there are more than 80 graduates after each vacancy.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-23247176

The challenge is twofold, scale down unrealistic expectations of new entrants and then encourage realistic appraisal of their skills. The coaching approach would then be to ask questions to:

– clarify what the job seeker wants from the jobs they are pursing (an adequate income; the opportunity to use their skills; room for development into a long-term career)

– support the development of a confident; approachable presentational style on paper and in person, to ensure their CV becomes one of the half dozen sifted in and they shine during their interview.

– Encourage reflection if the job search does not make the hoped for progress – what else could be done to present the candidate in the best possible light?

Keeping the candidate’s confidence up would also be part of the coaching programme, since the odds are their search for their elusive first job might take them beyond the end of the summer.

Men’s Health

July 22, 2013Leave a comment

Not totally sunny (c) R Dennison July 2013

In my experience of working with male coaching clients, health concerns are just as important as career issues. Health concerns can taint an otherwise sunny outlook, just like job woes.

I think it is interesting to note that Men’s Health Week took place in June and it highlighted the silence many men keep regarding one aspect of their wellbeing, their mental health. There are details here:

http://www.menshealthforum.org.uk/mhwhttp://www.menshealthforum.org.uk/mhw

This silence is sobering stuff coming a few days after the actor Paul Bhattarcharjee apparently took his own life (without family and friends seeing any warning signs). Many men don’t show they are in distress, until it is too late.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-23352162

There seem to be three parts to the challenge to coaching men to manage their mental health needs. The coaching, responding to the client’s issues, should be helping them:

– recognise what a healthy state feels like

– acknowledge when those feelings are absent for a significant period

– feel confident in seeking professional help in returning to health

Supporting a client in developing that awareness is quite a challenge. It is though an important one to tackle, for the sake of men, their loved ones and their friends.

It Is OK To Be Assertive

July 16, 2013Leave a comment

Artists deserve to be paid too (c) R Dennison July 2013

As a coach (and an individual) I have come across the limitations caused by self-belief issues quite a few times, in professional and personal contexts.

For instance, there is something powerfully inhibiting in the self-belief that one is not entitled to ask for one’s needs to be met. Wherever that belief comes from (perhaps instilled by family, school or culture) it is a damaging notion to hold onto.

I believe that notion is lurking in the background to a query raised in the Guardian newspaper recently. The query comes from a commercial artist, who is having difficulty getting a long-term client to pay for services rendered. The artist is asking if readers have ‘a foolproof strategy to – nicely – get people to pay up?’

To my mind the giveaway is the artist’s suggestion they need to ask nicely to get what they want. The coach in me wants to ask a couple of questions immediately: first, what does a ‘nice’ request sound like? ; second, how would you phrase the request assertively?

Actually there is a third question hanging in the air: what more might you gain by acting like someone who truly deserves to express their needs?

See what you think about the issues by visiting the link below. You might also want to consider this question: how would you benefit from being more assertive the next time you have to ask for what you want?

How can I get my long-term clients to pay up? (guardian.co.uk)

Three Steps Toward Happiness

July 3, 2013Leave a comment

Can Money Make You Happy? (c) R Dennison July 2013

Actively pursuing a goal can contribute towards personal happiness, although gathering a pile of money might not be enough to put a smile on one’s face.

The BBC reports that recent research, led by Professor Ruut Veenhoven from Rotterdam University, indicates that:

“In order to lead a happy life, a rewarding life, you need to be active, … So involvement is more important to happiness than knowing the why, why we are here”

The top three indicators that you are likely to be happy include being:

in a long-term relationship

actively engaged in politics

active in work and in your free time

So perhaps having a goal which regularly engages personal, or professional, energies helps move individuals one step closer to happiness.

There is more information in the link below about the research (and a list of the top ten happiest nations).

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-23097143

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